Excerpts from Fates Worse Than Death

"Scientists, for all their creativity, will never discover a method for making people deader than dead. So if some of you are worried about being hydrogen-bombed, you are merely fearing death. There is nothing new in that. If there weren't any hydrogen bombs, death would still be after you. And what is death but an absence of life? That's all it is. That is all it ever can be.
Death is nothing. What is all the fuss about?

...I will not waste your time with trivial fates, which are only marginally worse than death. Suppose we were conquered by an enemy, for example, who didn't understand our wonderful economic system, and so Braniff Airlines and International Harvester and so on all went bust, and millions of Americans who wanted to work couldn't find any jobs anywhere. Or suppose we were conquered by an enemy who was too cheap to take good care of children and old people. Or suppose we were conquered by an enemy who wouldn't spend money on anything but weapons for World War Three. These are all tribulations we could live with, if we had to--although God forbid.

...But suppose enemies came ashore in great numbers, because we lacked the means to stop them, and they pushed us out of our homes and off our ancestral lands, and into swamps and deserts. Suppose that they even tried to destroy our religion, telling us that our Great God Jehovah, or whatever we wanted to call Him, was as ridiculous as a piece of junk jewelry.
Again: this is a wringer millions of Americans have already been through--or are still going through. It is another catastrophe which Americans can endure, if they have to--and still, miraculously, maintain some measure of dignity, or self-respect.
As bad as life is for our Indians, they still like it better than death.

...So I haven't had much luck, have I, in identifying fates worse than death. Crucifixion is the only clear winner so far, and we aren't about to be crucified. We aren't abuot to be enslaved, either--to be treated as white Americans used to treat black Americans. And no potential enemy that I have heard of wants to come over here to treat all of us the way we still treat American Indians.
What other fates worse than death could I name? Life without petroleum?

...In melodramas of a century ago, a female's loss of virginity outside of holy wedlock was sometimes spoken as a fate worse than death. I hope that isn't what the Pentagon or the Kremlin has in mind--but you never know.
I would rather die for virginity than for petroleum, I think. It's more literary, somehow.

...Now look what has happened. Thanks to modern communications, we have seen sights and heard sounds from virtually every square mile of the land mass on this planet. Millions of us have actually visited more exotic places than had many explorers during my childhood. Many of you have been to Timbuktu. Many of you have been to Katmandu. My dentist just got home from Fiji. He told me all about Fiji. If he had taken his fingers out of my mouth, I would have told him about the Galapagos Islands.
So we now know for certain that there are no potential human enemies anywhere who are anything but human beings almost exactly like ourselves. They need food. How amazing. They love their children. How amazing. They obey their leaders. How amazing. They think like their neighbors. How amazing.
Thanks to modern communications, we now have something we never had before: reason to mourn deeply the death or wounding of any human being on any side in any war."
-Kurt Vonnegut (1991)

If winter was more exciting, I'd do something besides blog

I have to recommend John Irving's "The Fourth Hand". It is hilarious. Irving is probably my favorite contemporary writer; someone who actually develops characters and plots without having to kill, rape, or go outside the lines of reality to entertain. Alas, my novel is not this smart, but I am currently developing an idea for a second story and I'm inspired by Irving's creative style and wit.

Speaking of my novel...

The editing process is coming along and I have written to ten literary agencies in an attempt to find representation. I should hear back from some of them within two weeks and others within two months. In the meantime I'm trying to make the story as perfect as possible before an editor hacks it apart for me. Thank you to Phil Lucero, my brother Brian, and Danielle Dolan for reading and offering feedback! To keep my anxiety at bay, all I can think to do is start writing something else.

Allison is incredible at her job. She is complimented often on her ability to work well will the mentally ill and is trying to keep notes on how she deals with different illnesses to help her in graduate school.

I am also awaiting an acceptance (or rejection) letter from MU's creative writing program. If I'm accepted I'll start classes this summer. If I'm not? There's a great job at a local veterinarian's office disposing of euthanized puppies. That sounds promising.