Forgot to Say, "Hell Yeah!"

I don't know what I've been doing that I forgot to comment on the elections, but I would be remiss if I weren't to say--umm, wow, what an incredible ass kicking the republicans took last week! Seriously. I bet that hurt. I had all but given up on you America. I thought you were really going to keep going on letting these douche bags walk all over you and molest, kill, torture, and steal from anyone and everyone they felt like and just when I was walking away you go and do something like this to redeem yourself. So, well done people. Thanks for rejuvenating my hope in the system. Now--and this is for you DNC--if you f this up I'm seriously moving to Brazil to be a goat herder. I'm not screwing around. We have the House and the Senate and we're in excellent shape to take the presidency in two years--this hasn't happened in thirty years--please, please, please don't fuck this up. We're begging you. Green energy, universal health care, fair trade, livable wage, social justice--we could be like a real civilization that does things to--you know, help its people. It will be fantabulous. I'm so excited I'm starting to wish I had cable (or a TV larger than 10 inches wide) just so I could see the play by play come January. It's like March Madness, except there's only two teams and one of them has one really strong player versus the other that is stacked with a hundred or so whiny sacks that better learn how to play basketball in a hurry (did that make any sense?). Anyway, that's my piece. If you're Republican, umm, sorry, I guess. Better luck screwing up our country next time around. To the rest of the world, you're welcome, and please forgive us. Much love!