Even though my ten year high school reunion is still a year away--and I have my doubts about whether or not I will have much interest in attending this masturbatory tradition--Allison and I will be attending her reunion in a couple of weeks. In planning for this event we've been talking quite a bit about what has actually happened in ten years since we were wee balls of exploding hormones. So, I'd like to dedicate this blog entry to some of the little life lessons I've personally developed in my experience and education. If you would like to post some of your own in the "comments" section. I'd love to hear your opinions as well.
1) If people at your high school reunion tell you that, "You haven't changed a bit," no matter how jovial it sounds, it's not a compliment. If you're not changing, you're not growing.
2) There are certain aspects of life that should be taken for granted as the bare minimum of what you should be doing with your time in the universe. Staying out of prison is no more an accomplishment than taking care of your kids. These are things you're supposed to do. Raise your expectations a little.
3) Sleep an hour less, run an hour more.
4) Read without regard for what it is or how it makes you feel. Read books, read magazines, read web blogs, read newspapers. Your brain is a muscle and while your moral pride might give a shit about what you're putting in there, your synapses just enjoy the exercise--and you're learning about other people at the same time. Crosswords, Sudoku, etc. also work wonders.
5) Just because a person "isn't nice" doesn't mean they don't have something to offer. In a country like ours where everyone has complete freedom to give in to total gluttony, ignorance, and devolve to a knuckle-dragging cave dweller with a large-screen TV those who are pushing themselves in the opposite direction often have to be a little pissy to get their point across.
6) Happiness comes in small doses. For me it's a good cup of coffee, a beautiful view, a challenging hike, an inspiring novel, a well-crafted song, a great work of art,a good conversation, making love, traveling to new places, satirical humor...Appreciate it and let it go. Too much of any one thing will depress you as much as a little of everything will lift you up. And to quote Nietzsche, "I consider everyday wasted in which there has been no dancing."
7) Plan around human nature. It's unavoidable and will save you a lot of time and grief if you spend a little time now studying up on why you and other people act the way we do. If you push yourself too far without doing the things you need to do to refuel you're defeating the entire purpose of working so hard to begin with (which I assume is to make yourself happy).
8) Good beer in small doses, not bad beer in large doses. Bad beer in small doses? Why bother. No beer? Lighten up.
9) Find your calling. Then, ask yourself, "Will this pay the bills? Will this give me a life I can be happy with?" If the answer is even, "Maybe," I'm sorry, but you have to go for it regardless of how this affects your relationships, your values, your geographical location. If the answer is, "Not a chance," congratulations! Go for the money and spend every free second you have on your craft.
10) Take a long view of life. What we have to work with is no more our fault than it is our responsibility. Don't get hung up on what your parent's generation left you with, so much as trying to set your grandkids up for a better life than you've had. Even if you're not having kids, you owe this much to society.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?...Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do...It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-- Marianne Williamson
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Classism
Who's missed Jeff's socio-political rants this winter? Well I certainly have and since it has been building up in the back of my skull for the last several months it's time to burst the bubble and allow some of that wonderfully disgruntled ooze to pour out here for my good ol' blog compadres. Today's topic is one that is of great interest to me particularly because it's one of the few prejudices I don't just find disturbing, but that I actually find myself in the middle of fairly often. I'm talking about Classism. What is Classism? It's pretty simple really. If you are of one class and you think of people who are of another class as somehow inferior or wrong or lazy or some other negative adjective that makes you feel better about the way you choose to live your life, you are a Classist. This is not too unlike being a racist, or a sexist, or an ageist, except that we are talking specifically about money and the things money does for your life.
For example, let's say Tommy grew up in a blue-collar family. His Dad was an electrician, his mom worked at the local bakery down the street. Because neither of his parents went to college, they didn't know the first thing about saving for Tommy's college education, or helping Tommy to study the things he would need to get into a good college, or alerting Tommy early enough in his adolescence that every grade he gets from freshman year of high school on matters tremendously with regard to what he can be when he grows up. Mom and Dad can't see past blue-collar society, Tommy can't see past blue-collar society. Not only can they not help out, but once they have some money and things aren't going too badly they start to take a certain pride in the fact that they didn't have to go to college to "make it." Tommy inherits this sense of pride and when he actually does go to college everyone there sounds extremely snotty and care-free compared with the struggles he has known his whole life. On top of school being difficult and expensive, it's also embarrassing to be in a culture of people who unintentionally talk about your family as though they are the scum of society.
On the other hand, Lucy grew up in a family with a Mom who was a nurse and a Dad who works with computer software, both have graduate degrees and began putting money into a fund for Lucy's college the week after Lucy came home from the hospital. They helped Lucy with her studies her whole life and where they couldn't help they hired someone to tutor her. She was punished more severely for bad grades than for certain misbehaviors that Tommy's parents would have smacked him silly for (literally in some cases). There was never a question of whether or not Lucy would go to college, instead the question was always which one and what she would study there. The possibilities of career and lifestyle were limitless.
So, here's where Classism comes into play. It's not cool on any level for any person to judge another person based on what they do for a living. I do it, you do it, we all do it--we don't always say it out loud, but we do it. The mechanic who starts making jokes about the lawyer who doesn't know the first thing about his car engine, the lawyer who in turn goes back to office mocking the mechanic's bad grammar, even things as subtle as talking plainly in mixed company about things that cost a lot of money as though everyone has one or about how glad you are that you don't have to do the job Tommy is doing. There is a huge gap today between the haves and have nots. What some of my relatives consider pretty typical in terms of lifestyle--flat-screen TVs, Tivo, a couple of cars in the driveway, a cupboard full of groceries--a lot of my close friends could never imagine owning with the jobs they work. So here's some of the variables to consider: The Lucys of the world may end up being the lawyers making fun of some guy's accent or philistine behavior at the Jiffy Lube, but without that guy's help they would never get to work on time. Without Lucy Tommy might loose his shop for fixing the wrong part on a guy's car and getting sued. It's not a pretty world out there and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has friends and family on either side of the social spectrum. It's uncomfortable and tricky for either person to be themselves without treading on the pride of the other. I think being aware that these issues are going on helps the situation all around. Tommy--don't act like a tasteless redneck and try to appreciate that school is not easy no matter how much help you receive. Lucy--stop being a pretentious snot and appreciate how hard other people are working for your comfortable life. In general people, just try to show a little common human decency. You're not that special, no matter who you are.
And that concludes today's lecture on Class...
For example, let's say Tommy grew up in a blue-collar family. His Dad was an electrician, his mom worked at the local bakery down the street. Because neither of his parents went to college, they didn't know the first thing about saving for Tommy's college education, or helping Tommy to study the things he would need to get into a good college, or alerting Tommy early enough in his adolescence that every grade he gets from freshman year of high school on matters tremendously with regard to what he can be when he grows up. Mom and Dad can't see past blue-collar society, Tommy can't see past blue-collar society. Not only can they not help out, but once they have some money and things aren't going too badly they start to take a certain pride in the fact that they didn't have to go to college to "make it." Tommy inherits this sense of pride and when he actually does go to college everyone there sounds extremely snotty and care-free compared with the struggles he has known his whole life. On top of school being difficult and expensive, it's also embarrassing to be in a culture of people who unintentionally talk about your family as though they are the scum of society.
On the other hand, Lucy grew up in a family with a Mom who was a nurse and a Dad who works with computer software, both have graduate degrees and began putting money into a fund for Lucy's college the week after Lucy came home from the hospital. They helped Lucy with her studies her whole life and where they couldn't help they hired someone to tutor her. She was punished more severely for bad grades than for certain misbehaviors that Tommy's parents would have smacked him silly for (literally in some cases). There was never a question of whether or not Lucy would go to college, instead the question was always which one and what she would study there. The possibilities of career and lifestyle were limitless.
So, here's where Classism comes into play. It's not cool on any level for any person to judge another person based on what they do for a living. I do it, you do it, we all do it--we don't always say it out loud, but we do it. The mechanic who starts making jokes about the lawyer who doesn't know the first thing about his car engine, the lawyer who in turn goes back to office mocking the mechanic's bad grammar, even things as subtle as talking plainly in mixed company about things that cost a lot of money as though everyone has one or about how glad you are that you don't have to do the job Tommy is doing. There is a huge gap today between the haves and have nots. What some of my relatives consider pretty typical in terms of lifestyle--flat-screen TVs, Tivo, a couple of cars in the driveway, a cupboard full of groceries--a lot of my close friends could never imagine owning with the jobs they work. So here's some of the variables to consider: The Lucys of the world may end up being the lawyers making fun of some guy's accent or philistine behavior at the Jiffy Lube, but without that guy's help they would never get to work on time. Without Lucy Tommy might loose his shop for fixing the wrong part on a guy's car and getting sued. It's not a pretty world out there and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has friends and family on either side of the social spectrum. It's uncomfortable and tricky for either person to be themselves without treading on the pride of the other. I think being aware that these issues are going on helps the situation all around. Tommy--don't act like a tasteless redneck and try to appreciate that school is not easy no matter how much help you receive. Lucy--stop being a pretentious snot and appreciate how hard other people are working for your comfortable life. In general people, just try to show a little common human decency. You're not that special, no matter who you are.
And that concludes today's lecture on Class...
Monday, May 14, 2007
Listen to Wilco on Prairie Home Companion
Haven't heard of Garrison Keillor or "Prairie Home Companion"? You should be somewhat ashamed and go to this site for a listen some evening instead of watching whatever version of people getting mutilated and beautiful scientists discovering who done it. Also, this particular episode of PHC features music by a band who is possibly one of the only bands in America still making quality music: Wilco. Wilco is also a band you should be somewhat ashamed to not listen to if you have never heard of them. For a generation whose only claim to fame is Kurt Cobain--a drugged-out teenager of a poet who couldn't balance his artistic idealism with a little sense of craft and blew his head off at twenty-seven--Wilco is a breath of fresh air. If you're just getting a listen to this band you might want to start at the beginning with their folksy, rock-n-roll, blues stuff and listen to the progression of depth and musical exploration up to their newest, "Sky Blue Sky." If nothing else you will be blown away by Jeff Tweedy's beautifully heart-wrenching lyrics and astute observations of what it means to be human. So take your laptop to the back porch tonight, pour a glass of wine and enjoy an evening outside with these two American delicacies.
http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media/player/phc/2007/05/12_phc
http://www.publicradio.org/tools/media/player/phc/2007/05/12_phc
Thursday, May 10, 2007
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