After two short semesters back in graduate school I have decided that academia needs to throw a giant party at least once a semester in celebration of mental illness! Yea! I mean honestly, some of my professors are interesting as hell but batty as a giraffe on a pogostick. Now let's face it, none of us is perfect. I certainly can't claim to be firing on all cylinders, but if passing a psychological analysis to prove one is free of mental illness was a necessary part of becoming a college professor I know at least the English department would not exist. This isn't necessarily a bad thing; obviously a lot of our most brilliant inventions and ideas have come from very disturbed individuals. Hemingway, Lincoln, Van Gogh, Beethoven, Woolf, Issac Newton, Charles Dickens, Winston Churchill...the list goes on forever. These were all great individuals that acknowledged their illness and dealt with it in a manner that allowed them to go on to do great things (well, except Hemingway--he shot himself in the face, and Woolf drown herself--pretty sure Van Gogh was a suicide too, but the point being that they offered a great deal while they were around). As I've been finding out with some of my profs and fellow classmates, there are quite a few crazies out there that wouldn't dream of acknowledging the fact that their certifiably nuts. In fact my own Creative Writing teacher--who is aware that I am bi-polar--confessed to me today that she also has dramatic mood swings but would never think of going to a therapist because she thought it would screw up her writing. I wasn't too surprised as she is the most emotionally fickle teacher I've ever had (and we bi-polar folks have somewhat of a gay-dar for mental illnesses), but I did think it was proposterous that she thought analyzing her life would somehow make her WORSE at writing. It almost seemed a bit hypocritical seeing as how she preaches to me class after class about letting go and going to deeper subconscious places in my writing.
I guess it isn't a huge deal, but I have realized as of late that human beings have a deep-seeded sense of what is right and wrong. This doesn't mean that it gives us a right to judge or to criticize or to set up society in such a way as to presume right and wrong, but honestly, where would laws even begin if we didn't have this internal sense? Or are they just based off of the early settler's Puritan values (because if this is the case we have some serious Church and State issues)? If there is no sense of right and wrong there is no way to argue for innocence or guilt. It's all just one opinion versus another. Why I bring this up is, it seems to me that a huge part of formal education is teaching the brain how to misbehave, right? When we're born we're born with the information we need to survive. If we were fed up to a young age and left in the wild, we would innately begin building shelter and gathering foods in a way that would increase our chances for survival. But in the "real world" it isn't this simple. There are rules and class-lines, gender-lines, racial barriers...hell we won't even give a guy pissing in a glass jar a quarter on our way out of eating a huge meal of junk food. So to survive one must go to school and learn how to appear as far from an original human state as possible. The better you dress, the more "educated" you sound, the more you are able to recite the things academia deems worthy, the better off your life will be. The irony is, as I'm finding out, that the people at the top making the rules are, as I said, batty as a beaver with a bowling ball. They're INSANE! Neurotic! Brilliantly creative, but ultimately living somewhere that is nowhere close to the reality the rest of us experience on a day to day basis, yet they are the ones devising the curriculum that stretches all the way down to elementary school. It's scary shit. Mostly rich white kids--all grown up--who think they have the power to control the world. And again, the irony is that they'll believe just about anything that seems to make sense. I recieved an "A" on a paper last week in a class that I haven't even opened the text for. TOTAL bullshit--and I get comments back like, "You seem to really grasp these concepts." If I do, we're in trouble.
I don't know what else to say, except that it amuses me. Life is just so damn weird and the older I get the more goofy it all seems, yet the more serious everyone seems to get. So I guess a little human decency and an open mind (and a sense of humor) are about all I can recommend. My rules are basically that if it isn't hurting anyone but yourself, knock yourself out. As soon as you start infringing on my freedoms, we're gonna have words, but otherwise...go crazy! Everyone else is.
Friday, December 01, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
Forgot to Say, "Hell Yeah!"
I don't know what I've been doing that I forgot to comment on the elections, but I would be remiss if I weren't to say--umm, wow, what an incredible ass kicking the republicans took last week! Seriously. I bet that hurt. I had all but given up on you America. I thought you were really going to keep going on letting these douche bags walk all over you and molest, kill, torture, and steal from anyone and everyone they felt like and just when I was walking away you go and do something like this to redeem yourself. So, well done people. Thanks for rejuvenating my hope in the system. Now--and this is for you DNC--if you f this up I'm seriously moving to Brazil to be a goat herder. I'm not screwing around. We have the House and the Senate and we're in excellent shape to take the presidency in two years--this hasn't happened in thirty years--please, please, please don't fuck this up. We're begging you. Green energy, universal health care, fair trade, livable wage, social justice--we could be like a real civilization that does things to--you know, help its people. It will be fantabulous. I'm so excited I'm starting to wish I had cable (or a TV larger than 10 inches wide) just so I could see the play by play come January. It's like March Madness, except there's only two teams and one of them has one really strong player versus the other that is stacked with a hundred or so whiny sacks that better learn how to play basketball in a hurry (did that make any sense?). Anyway, that's my piece. If you're Republican, umm, sorry, I guess. Better luck screwing up our country next time around. To the rest of the world, you're welcome, and please forgive us. Much love!
Monday, November 06, 2006
Good Intentions
I'd like to ask for everyone's prayers and good intentions over the next few days. My friend Marcus Reynerson's father is having by-pass surgery Tuesday morning and could use your thoughts.
Thanks,
Jeff
Thanks,
Jeff
What if...?
In case you haven't figured this out from previous blogs I spend a lot of time thinking about how America came to be so messed up and all around an unenjoyable place to live and I came up with this thought that we made a wrong turn when we decided both parents should start working. Now, I realize that sounds sexist, so bare with me. What I mean is that we had a moment in history where, as a country, men were working too hard and not spending time with their families and going off to war and generally obsessed with making money and building shit and drinking themselves to death and whatever...that's great. This obviously caused a rift in the balance of things and women said, "Enough is enough. We want the liberty to take care of ourselves and not depend on these crazy bastards who are all about themselves." From then on women have been moving in a direction of not really needing us for much--even those of us who are all for empowering women. Where has this put us as a nation? Well, let's remove judgement and just look at facts. Less than 50% of adults are married for the first time in history. We have three-fourths of people who have been married who've been divorced at least once. We have mental illness running rampant. Kids are living busy, crazy lives, as are their parents. People are growing up with very serious baggage. Maybe men should have been the ones to slow down rather than women speeding up to compete with the men? Maybe. I don't know.
So, let's untangle this mess and think about an alternate reality. What if, now that men have learned to respect women as equals (well, most of us anyway), we reconsider the way we're doing things. What if we consider that kids need their parents spending time with them so that they grow up to be confident, well-rounded individuals more than they need money being put in a trust fund? What if we consider that competition is great, if the playing field is equal and everyone wants to compete and everyone is on the same page about what we're competing for (which is nowhere near the case), but isn't so great when it puts those who are capable way out of reach and the incapable fighting to get their needs met. What if men and women swallowed their pride and said, "You know what, this is just dumb! We should be spending our afternoons eating meals together and making love instead of calling each other to see who's going to bring home fast food for dinner. We should stop telling ourselves these sad sob stories about how poor we are and how much we deserve and start appreciating that even the poorest of us have more than the wealthiest of other countries could dream of. What if we started putting the focus on relationships and education? What if we were so relaxed that we drank for pleasure instead of compulsively over-drinking to relieve stress? Think of the endless reprecussions of a slower lifestyle for a minute. Could people stay in love longer if they weren't under as much stress? Could kids grow up to be interested in inspiring ideas, art, nature, traveling, music--the things that make life worth living instead of money and judgemental, rigid ideologies? Could we stop thinking of the less capable as lazy and start seeing each other as human beings?
Alright, back to reality. I realize that we can't just scrap the history of America and get everyone to simultaneously start living differently. Nor do I fool myself into thinking everyone wants this. Some of us are seriously addicted to our pain. We identify with it. It's easier than changing. However, I do believe we can subtly start making choices in our day to day lives that will encourage this direction for our children. I'd like to encourage everyone to start looking a little more deeply into their stress and attempt to discover the source. Stop pushing through it and look to remedy it instead. Do you need more sleep? Do you need to eat better? Do you need more excercise? Do you need a new job? Maybe a change in scenery? But Jeff what does this have to do with what you were just talking about? When we're stressed out of our heads all day we make poor choices. We buy compulsively, we become callous to the people in our lives, we eat unhealthily, and on a larger scale, we vote out of hatred for people unlike ourselves instead of out of hope for a better society. We give up, we shut down. So, take care of yourselves this week. Vote consciously tomorrow. Start looking for ways to remedy problems instead of pushing through them. Let's grow up America. Let's take care of our needs. Let's get past this rags to riches story we're telling ourselves (because let's be honest, our history is more like genocide, slavery, and greed) and start a story of getting everyone to a more fulfilling lifestyle. I bet we can't do it by working harder. I bet we do it by living more mindfully. What do you think?
So, let's untangle this mess and think about an alternate reality. What if, now that men have learned to respect women as equals (well, most of us anyway), we reconsider the way we're doing things. What if we consider that kids need their parents spending time with them so that they grow up to be confident, well-rounded individuals more than they need money being put in a trust fund? What if we consider that competition is great, if the playing field is equal and everyone wants to compete and everyone is on the same page about what we're competing for (which is nowhere near the case), but isn't so great when it puts those who are capable way out of reach and the incapable fighting to get their needs met. What if men and women swallowed their pride and said, "You know what, this is just dumb! We should be spending our afternoons eating meals together and making love instead of calling each other to see who's going to bring home fast food for dinner. We should stop telling ourselves these sad sob stories about how poor we are and how much we deserve and start appreciating that even the poorest of us have more than the wealthiest of other countries could dream of. What if we started putting the focus on relationships and education? What if we were so relaxed that we drank for pleasure instead of compulsively over-drinking to relieve stress? Think of the endless reprecussions of a slower lifestyle for a minute. Could people stay in love longer if they weren't under as much stress? Could kids grow up to be interested in inspiring ideas, art, nature, traveling, music--the things that make life worth living instead of money and judgemental, rigid ideologies? Could we stop thinking of the less capable as lazy and start seeing each other as human beings?
Alright, back to reality. I realize that we can't just scrap the history of America and get everyone to simultaneously start living differently. Nor do I fool myself into thinking everyone wants this. Some of us are seriously addicted to our pain. We identify with it. It's easier than changing. However, I do believe we can subtly start making choices in our day to day lives that will encourage this direction for our children. I'd like to encourage everyone to start looking a little more deeply into their stress and attempt to discover the source. Stop pushing through it and look to remedy it instead. Do you need more sleep? Do you need to eat better? Do you need more excercise? Do you need a new job? Maybe a change in scenery? But Jeff what does this have to do with what you were just talking about? When we're stressed out of our heads all day we make poor choices. We buy compulsively, we become callous to the people in our lives, we eat unhealthily, and on a larger scale, we vote out of hatred for people unlike ourselves instead of out of hope for a better society. We give up, we shut down. So, take care of yourselves this week. Vote consciously tomorrow. Start looking for ways to remedy problems instead of pushing through them. Let's grow up America. Let's take care of our needs. Let's get past this rags to riches story we're telling ourselves (because let's be honest, our history is more like genocide, slavery, and greed) and start a story of getting everyone to a more fulfilling lifestyle. I bet we can't do it by working harder. I bet we do it by living more mindfully. What do you think?
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
New Documentaries
Hey all, I have two new documentaries I'm encouraging you all to see. One called,
"This Film is Not Yet Rated" and another called "Jesus Camp." Check out the trailers above.
The first one I just saw and it was pretty interesting. It's about the MPAA (the organization responsible for giving movies their ratings) and who this organization is made up of and how they control what we can and cannot see in movies. It also touches on a bigger issue of who controls media in this country and how powerful they are. My one complaint about this one is that for all the probing they go through to prove the point that this organization is facist and doesn't represent average American parent's best interests they don't interview anyone that represents average America. I guess they alliviate this need by saying that there is no such thing as an "average American parent" but all the people who say this are in the film industry and live in LA (which isn't exactly what most American's lives are like). That being said, it brings up a lot of good points about how childish adults can be about cusswords, sex, and nudity in movies when it's perfectly okay to show horrendous acts of violence and get lower ratings. The biggest issue with these ratings is what falls into NC-17. Basically an R rating and an NC-17 are both meant for adults, however if a movie gets the latter rating many studios won't release it, it can't get TV spots and most chain department stores won't carry it on DVD. So a lot of movies that take artistic risks in trying to do something different get marginalized and virtually unseen by American audiences based on the moral judgement of the MPAA. In my opinion this is just another element in why America is all but devoid of good art.
The second, I have not seen but sounds outrageous. I'm sure it will rile some emotions on either side. It's about fanatical Christian camps that are trying to rival religious fanatics in other parts of the world by teaching their kids to militantly follow Jesus. The trailer is disturbing enough. I'll give a full critique after I see it.
I don't know what kind of outlets you have for seeing these films. I'm guessing most cities have at least one theater that shows more obscure docs and films. Keep an eye out. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.
"This Film is Not Yet Rated" and another called "Jesus Camp." Check out the trailers above.
The first one I just saw and it was pretty interesting. It's about the MPAA (the organization responsible for giving movies their ratings) and who this organization is made up of and how they control what we can and cannot see in movies. It also touches on a bigger issue of who controls media in this country and how powerful they are. My one complaint about this one is that for all the probing they go through to prove the point that this organization is facist and doesn't represent average American parent's best interests they don't interview anyone that represents average America. I guess they alliviate this need by saying that there is no such thing as an "average American parent" but all the people who say this are in the film industry and live in LA (which isn't exactly what most American's lives are like). That being said, it brings up a lot of good points about how childish adults can be about cusswords, sex, and nudity in movies when it's perfectly okay to show horrendous acts of violence and get lower ratings. The biggest issue with these ratings is what falls into NC-17. Basically an R rating and an NC-17 are both meant for adults, however if a movie gets the latter rating many studios won't release it, it can't get TV spots and most chain department stores won't carry it on DVD. So a lot of movies that take artistic risks in trying to do something different get marginalized and virtually unseen by American audiences based on the moral judgement of the MPAA. In my opinion this is just another element in why America is all but devoid of good art.
The second, I have not seen but sounds outrageous. I'm sure it will rile some emotions on either side. It's about fanatical Christian camps that are trying to rival religious fanatics in other parts of the world by teaching their kids to militantly follow Jesus. The trailer is disturbing enough. I'll give a full critique after I see it.
I don't know what kind of outlets you have for seeing these films. I'm guessing most cities have at least one theater that shows more obscure docs and films. Keep an eye out. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Breathing, Yoga , Mindfulness
I have been attempting to get back to some old practices that I discovered in my latter years of school in an attempt to live a more mindful and enlightened life. I'm not sure how familiar anyone is with Mindfulness or how many of you have an interest in yoga or meditation, but I have found some peace in these practices over the years and would like to share them with you in hopes that maybe they will help you as well. Below are seven of the Mindfulness principles that deal with our attitudes towards thoughts and feelings. If anyone has an interest or if these ideas strike a chord with you and you'd like to know more about meditation, yoga, or Mindfulness I'd be happy to share some books, podcasts, and cds you could check out for guidance. Note: Mindfulness is not a religious practice, but rather a healthy way of life that promotes a positive mind and loving heart. It is conducive to all other philosophies based in love and wellness.
Nonjudging: To do this requires that you become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are normally caught up in and learn to step back from it.
Patience: Intentionally reminding ourselves that there is no need to be impatient with ourselves because we find the mind judging all of the time, or because we are tense or agitated or worried, or because we have been practicing mindfulness for some time and nothing positive seems to have happened.
A Beginner's Mind: To see the richness of the present moment (afterall, where else does life occur?), we need to cultivate what has been called "beginner's mind"--a mind that is willing to see everthing as if for the first time. No moment is the same as any other. Each is unique and contains unique possibilities. Beginner's Mind reminds us of this simple truth.
Trust: Developing a basic trust in yourself and your feelings is an integral part of meditation training. This will be particularly useful in the yoga practice. When practicing yoga, it is important to honor your feelings and listen to when your body tells you to stop or to back off in a particular stretch. If you don't listen, you might injure yourself.
Nonstriving: Almost everthing we do we do for a purpose, to get something or somewhere. But, in meditation, this attitude can be a real obstacle. Ultimately, meditating is non-doing. It has no goal other than for you to be yourself. In the meditative domain, the best way to achieve your goals is to back off from striving for results and, instead, to start focusing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are, moment to moment.
Acceptance: Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. If you have a headache, accept that you have a headache. If you are in pain, emotionally or physically, accept that you are in pain. Acceptance does not mean that you have to like everything or that you have to take a passive attitude. It does not mean that you are satisfied with things as they are. Acceptance, as we are speaking of it simply means that you have a willingness to see things as they are. In meditation practice, we cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience, but be receptive and open to whatever we are feeling, thinking, or seeing and to accept it because it is here right now.
Letting Go: In meditation practice we intentionally put aside the tendency to elevate some aspects of our experience and to reject others--prolonging pleasant thoughts or feelings and trying to get rid of the unpleasant. Instead, we just let our experience be what it is and practice observing it from moment to moment.
Nonjudging: To do this requires that you become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are normally caught up in and learn to step back from it.
Patience: Intentionally reminding ourselves that there is no need to be impatient with ourselves because we find the mind judging all of the time, or because we are tense or agitated or worried, or because we have been practicing mindfulness for some time and nothing positive seems to have happened.
A Beginner's Mind: To see the richness of the present moment (afterall, where else does life occur?), we need to cultivate what has been called "beginner's mind"--a mind that is willing to see everthing as if for the first time. No moment is the same as any other. Each is unique and contains unique possibilities. Beginner's Mind reminds us of this simple truth.
Trust: Developing a basic trust in yourself and your feelings is an integral part of meditation training. This will be particularly useful in the yoga practice. When practicing yoga, it is important to honor your feelings and listen to when your body tells you to stop or to back off in a particular stretch. If you don't listen, you might injure yourself.
Nonstriving: Almost everthing we do we do for a purpose, to get something or somewhere. But, in meditation, this attitude can be a real obstacle. Ultimately, meditating is non-doing. It has no goal other than for you to be yourself. In the meditative domain, the best way to achieve your goals is to back off from striving for results and, instead, to start focusing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are, moment to moment.
Acceptance: Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. If you have a headache, accept that you have a headache. If you are in pain, emotionally or physically, accept that you are in pain. Acceptance does not mean that you have to like everything or that you have to take a passive attitude. It does not mean that you are satisfied with things as they are. Acceptance, as we are speaking of it simply means that you have a willingness to see things as they are. In meditation practice, we cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience, but be receptive and open to whatever we are feeling, thinking, or seeing and to accept it because it is here right now.
Letting Go: In meditation practice we intentionally put aside the tendency to elevate some aspects of our experience and to reject others--prolonging pleasant thoughts or feelings and trying to get rid of the unpleasant. Instead, we just let our experience be what it is and practice observing it from moment to moment.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
What Do Today's Kids Need? Smarter Adults.
I've been hearing this sentiment a lot lately--being that my mother and mother-in-law are both teachers--that kids today are out of control. They're cussing at young ages and talking about sex and guns and shooting each other in school, etc. and it never used to be this way. Well, first off, yes, it did used to be this way, it just wasn't this way for suburbanite middle-class white kids. And now it is. Actually I can still remember cussing and talking about sex and violence at a pretty early age--never shot at anyone, but I probably wished I had the sack to a few times.
My mothers both share the opinion that because there is no longer prayer in schools, this is why kids are going crazy. I respectfully disagree (mostly because I went to Catholic school my whole life and never did or didn't do anything good or bad based on the fact that I was being forced to pray to a God I didn't understand or necessarily agree with). I believe the real problem is that kids today have access to information beyond our parent's wildest dreams and the adults aren't keeping up. If you are my age, 27, or there abouts, imagine going through college without the internet for research. WHAT? Actually having to go through microfilms and books to find little tidbits that we can now punch into a computer screen and in one second have everything ever written in the entire world. This is what today's kids get from day one. Not only this but they are smart enough to get into things that kids probably shouldn't see--such as sexual content, violent video clips, etc--but are. So what do we do about this? It makes sense to me to deal with it in a way that addresses the problem. We didn't ask for kids to be exposed to this stuff and we certainly can't stop it completely. If they want to see things they shouldn't see, they're going to find a computer somewhere where they can access these things. Can we talk to them? Is this that big of a deal? I don't have kids so I don't want to assert too much here, but I can't imagine myself not just sitting down with my child and explaining why these things can be harmful to their worldview. And if I can't explain it, maybe I should consider that I'm being close-minded and that this is just a change the world is going through--not the coming of days.
I don't know the answer, but I certainly remember what I thought as a teen. I wanted the WHY behind everything. If an adult couldn't give me the WHY I usually considered that adult pretty ignorant. I respected adults with answers, with information. Not just because they earned their place as the Alpha, but because they made me a smarter person and usually didn't ask me to do things based on their own laziness and apathy. So, I'm sorry my fellow adults, there is a traitor in your midst. I'm with the kids on this one. Give them information, talk to them like intelligent human beings, they'll respect you. Order them around like some kind of dictator who deserves respect simply for being alive longer, and I gurantee they're going to rebel.
My mothers both share the opinion that because there is no longer prayer in schools, this is why kids are going crazy. I respectfully disagree (mostly because I went to Catholic school my whole life and never did or didn't do anything good or bad based on the fact that I was being forced to pray to a God I didn't understand or necessarily agree with). I believe the real problem is that kids today have access to information beyond our parent's wildest dreams and the adults aren't keeping up. If you are my age, 27, or there abouts, imagine going through college without the internet for research. WHAT? Actually having to go through microfilms and books to find little tidbits that we can now punch into a computer screen and in one second have everything ever written in the entire world. This is what today's kids get from day one. Not only this but they are smart enough to get into things that kids probably shouldn't see--such as sexual content, violent video clips, etc--but are. So what do we do about this? It makes sense to me to deal with it in a way that addresses the problem. We didn't ask for kids to be exposed to this stuff and we certainly can't stop it completely. If they want to see things they shouldn't see, they're going to find a computer somewhere where they can access these things. Can we talk to them? Is this that big of a deal? I don't have kids so I don't want to assert too much here, but I can't imagine myself not just sitting down with my child and explaining why these things can be harmful to their worldview. And if I can't explain it, maybe I should consider that I'm being close-minded and that this is just a change the world is going through--not the coming of days.
I don't know the answer, but I certainly remember what I thought as a teen. I wanted the WHY behind everything. If an adult couldn't give me the WHY I usually considered that adult pretty ignorant. I respected adults with answers, with information. Not just because they earned their place as the Alpha, but because they made me a smarter person and usually didn't ask me to do things based on their own laziness and apathy. So, I'm sorry my fellow adults, there is a traitor in your midst. I'm with the kids on this one. Give them information, talk to them like intelligent human beings, they'll respect you. Order them around like some kind of dictator who deserves respect simply for being alive longer, and I gurantee they're going to rebel.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Too Good to Be True?
Ok, I'm taking a pubic opinion poll here. I emailed the strange man who approached me a month or so ago about a possible modeling gig and below is his response. I need you all to let me know if you think I'm being paranoid or naive or overly critical or what because I don't know what to think. Imagine you're me, working a shitty part- time job and writing short stories and this guy comes up out of the blue and offers this to you. I don't know why I can't believe it, but something about the whole thing just isn't fitting together for me. I'm waiting for the catch. Anyway, have a read, if you would, and tell me what you think. Sound fishy? Also, sound cheesy? Is this really something I want to do if it is for real? Would you do it? I'm so painfully midwestern...
Jeff, Outpost12studios in Lincoln, Nebraska will be producing the
vodeo
project in January. Am in New york doing fashion shows like told all of
you
I would be - then retreat to the midwest to be low key. Regarding your
appearance in the project, you have the rest of the year to mull it
over.
filming will take place in mid January. That means flying you here for
four
days for filming. Prior to that, I can return there at times to coach
you on
the choreography. You should have everything well rehearsed by that
time
since it is only a five minute video. The last time I saw you I came
across
the street and stopped you and told you that like a big brother figure,
I
was not, and will not steer you in any wrong direction. I do not know
what
lifestyle you have lived, but jet-setting is in the lifestyle of anyone
involved in this business. Use your brain man, there is tons of money
on
this planet, you have been blessed lookswise, do what I and countless
other
males have done USE YOUR LOOKS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE TO EXPEDITE BECOMING
FINANCIALLY SECURE!!! I'm not into menial work, did that, don't have
to, am
planning to retire when this bloody video is completed! It is my
brainchild,
has been in my blood to do it because I have the ability to do it, can
muster the 'star quality" essence to carry it, (you received a minute
sample
of my stage presence while I was there), and can get it properly
executed to
fashion designers, which is the whole purpose of it. It's only a
promotional
project remember, to inspire fashion designers to return to prior
well-dressed looks in their creations. My whole success in life has
been
attributed to my presentation. Even many years ago when I was homeless,
the
security personnel at the former Golden Nugget casino in Atlantic City,
NJ
voted me "best dressed bum". If that isn't an American story of some
sort,
what is? ALEXIS!!! P.S. If you can provide a contact number, and tell
me how
you are doing, and if you are still at the coffee shop. Also, you can
samle
the video via the internect by pulling up the Vogue video.
Jeff, Outpost12studios in Lincoln, Nebraska will be producing the
vodeo
project in January. Am in New york doing fashion shows like told all of
you
I would be - then retreat to the midwest to be low key. Regarding your
appearance in the project, you have the rest of the year to mull it
over.
filming will take place in mid January. That means flying you here for
four
days for filming. Prior to that, I can return there at times to coach
you on
the choreography. You should have everything well rehearsed by that
time
since it is only a five minute video. The last time I saw you I came
across
the street and stopped you and told you that like a big brother figure,
I
was not, and will not steer you in any wrong direction. I do not know
what
lifestyle you have lived, but jet-setting is in the lifestyle of anyone
involved in this business. Use your brain man, there is tons of money
on
this planet, you have been blessed lookswise, do what I and countless
other
males have done USE YOUR LOOKS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE TO EXPEDITE BECOMING
FINANCIALLY SECURE!!! I'm not into menial work, did that, don't have
to, am
planning to retire when this bloody video is completed! It is my
brainchild,
has been in my blood to do it because I have the ability to do it, can
muster the 'star quality" essence to carry it, (you received a minute
sample
of my stage presence while I was there), and can get it properly
executed to
fashion designers, which is the whole purpose of it. It's only a
promotional
project remember, to inspire fashion designers to return to prior
well-dressed looks in their creations. My whole success in life has
been
attributed to my presentation. Even many years ago when I was homeless,
the
security personnel at the former Golden Nugget casino in Atlantic City,
NJ
voted me "best dressed bum". If that isn't an American story of some
sort,
what is? ALEXIS!!! P.S. If you can provide a contact number, and tell
me how
you are doing, and if you are still at the coffee shop. Also, you can
samle
the video via the internect by pulling up the Vogue video.
In Case You Missed It...
If you haven't seen this clip of Clinton verbally abusing Jim Wallace on Fox News, check this out. In case you haven't caught on yet, Fox News has nothing to do with journalism or reporting facts or trying to get to the heart of situations and everything to do with conservative propaganda (rent "OutFoxed" sometime for a one-sided but informative look inside this news channel). Clinton is a beast in this. I was too caught up in growing up during the nineties to know what was going on, but he's quickly becoming my new political hero. Periodically try to imagine George W. maintaining a stream of thought for this long (let alone citing these kinds of facts off the top of his head), and watch how he thinks before he speaks. You have to take the good with the bad when you're talking about huge world figures like Bill Clinton, but I believe despite his faults with fidelity he is a serious thinker, intellectual, and leader as you can see here. It's in two parts, but worth the time to watch both. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnyrCVwGyK4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxWUA764H7E&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnyrCVwGyK4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxWUA764H7E&mode=related&search=
Monday, September 18, 2006
Oregonites
The plans are in motion. Allison and I will be moving to Bend, Oregon this December to work for my friend and former Philmont director, Kevin Stickleman at Mt. Bachelor ski resort. The stress and anticipation has gotten to be too much as we've been dealing with work, tests, graduate school searches, applications and letters of intent. UNCLE! We give. After turning in my final papers this semester and tearlessly waving goodbye to my life of mindlessly slinging java to misguided academic souls I will pack up the necessities of life in my little green Camery and scream in sweet release to the towering mountains of the Northwest. I have much to think about and Allison and I will both have our futures waiting in limbo in the months following December application deadlines. I can think of no better way to spend this time then getting back in touch with the nature boy who's been sitting cross-legged in a corner of my soul, punished by the calender and speed of stress that the city life is too happy to provide. I know many of you will never understand, but perhaps someday we'll hike together and you can share the quiet peace of a crisp clean walk in the vanilla stench of a Pondarosa forest; all your innocence returned, childhood revisited. As Alexander Pope said, "There is a certain majesty in simplicity."
I know working at a ski resort isn't exactly simplicity, but it'll pay the bills. Meanwhile, we can spend our free time hiking the mountains and learning the calls of the migrating birds. I'm in goose-flesh just thinking about it. I can't wait!
Anyone else in need of a break from the busy life this winter, you have a couch to sleep on in Bend.
Much love,
Jeff
I know working at a ski resort isn't exactly simplicity, but it'll pay the bills. Meanwhile, we can spend our free time hiking the mountains and learning the calls of the migrating birds. I'm in goose-flesh just thinking about it. I can't wait!
Anyone else in need of a break from the busy life this winter, you have a couch to sleep on in Bend.
Much love,
Jeff
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Who the #*%& is Carson Daily?
Ok, before I start, I do know who Carson Daily is, but what the hell is he good for? He's like the Paris Hilton of Late Night TV; good at absolutely nothing and somehow still famous enough that other celebrities will interact with him on the idiot box at one in the morning. Now I know what you're thinking. You want to say, "Jeff, why are you giving your energy to this? Why are you even awake and watching TV at one in the morning and why would you choose to watch this assclown in the first place?" To you I answer, "Insomnia, no cable, he's on after Conan, and I have no life." But honestly this isn't about me. This is about this man, this: I wish I was famous, "Hey ma I'm on TV," I don't sing, I don't act, I'm not smart, I'm not funny, and I make a living off of joking on people with more talent in their nose hair than I have in my whole body (jokes that I didn't even write myself, mind you). I mean seriously, I want to send this poor man a sweet motherly telegram every day; just some nurturing woman who will tell him he's cool and that he can stop trying so hard. It's bad. If you're ever up too late and don't feel like watching--you know--something good, check this guy out. If you can make it through the full half-hour without cringing, either he blew his paycheck on a funny writer for that night alone, or you should go ahead and drink that whole bottle of NyQuil before you fall asleep. The whole show goes something like this: "Hey guys, you know, I was hanging out with Who Really Gives A Shit this past weekend at a party and I was going to get a ride home with him, but he was too high on coke." (Canned laughter) "You know, cause Bobby Brown does cocaine..." (explaining the bad joke that no one laughed at as though the problem was we just didn't get it). I've been thinking about this (don't ask me why) and here's my analysis. Carson is like the really nice hot guy from your high school. He doesn't really have it in him to be mean-spirited (like your typical blue-collar comedian), and he wasn't ridiculed enough to have to become funny (like Conan), and he isn't smart enough to have a dry sense of humor (like Stewart or Colbert), so he's just in this sort of--I'm nice and good lookin' and very non-confrontational kind of--no-man's land of entertainment. He'd make a better shoe salesman. Anyway, I just had to get this out in the clear in case someone was reading my blog and thinking, I wonder what Jeff thinks about Carson Daily. So, there it is. Now you know. He's a douche bag.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Consideration
Hey all! This was sent on to me via email. I don't know about keeping it off the air, but if you happen to catch it maybe watch with this in mind. Midterm elections are only a couple of months away and there are all kinds of back-handed ways of influencing our political opinions. Be informed. Make wise choices. Much love.
The ABC television network, owned by the Walt Disney Company, is airing what it calls a "docudrama" entitled "The Path to 9/11." ABC has claimed the mini-series is based on the 9/11 Commission Report, but that is simply not true. "The Path to 9/11" is actually a bald-faced attempt to slander Democrats and revise history right before Americans vote in a major election.
Tell Walt Disney president Robert Iger to keep this propaganda off the air:
http://www.democrats.org/pathto911
Thanks!
The ABC television network, owned by the Walt Disney Company, is airing what it calls a "docudrama" entitled "The Path to 9/11." ABC has claimed the mini-series is based on the 9/11 Commission Report, but that is simply not true. "The Path to 9/11" is actually a bald-faced attempt to slander Democrats and revise history right before Americans vote in a major election.
Tell Walt Disney president Robert Iger to keep this propaganda off the air:
http://www.democrats.org/pathto911
Thanks!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Who's Got Two Thumbs and Likes Easy Money--This Guy!
Late shift, Lakota Coffee Shop, downtown Columbia, Missouri. Students are winding down their summer classes, couples are sipping java and playing scrabble. In walks this super-humanly, New York runway, glamorous, fabulous gay man strutting his stuff on the catwalk--or rather Lakota Coffee's narrow walkway between tables. He orders his coffee and walks around the side of the counter as though looking at pastries. A few minutes pass and I look over absentmindly and he looks away startled. I go about my work behind the counter. A few minutes later I'm stretching and glancing around the shop and again I see him just staring at me.
"Can I get you something?" I asked, wondering if he needed my attention.
"I'm just watching the way you carry yourself," he said.
I cocked an eyebrow, somewhere between curious and disturbed.
"I'm in the fashion industry back east," he said, unabashedly pretentious, "I'm shooting a video in Columbia, and you have the look. That's a professional compliment, I'm not hitting on you."
"Well...thank you," I said, wanting to add an "I guess."
He darted off, never breaking his runway saunter, as though offended that I didn't take the compliment more seriously. My female co-worker and I had a laugh and I went back to serving up some joe. Thirty minutes later he comes to the counter again, this time with a portfolio of glamour shots.
"Here's my portfolio, I am a model in New York and I am doing a fashion video to Madonna's Vogue." He proceeded to tell me I had the look several more times (although I apparently needed to shave so I could look like "a million bucks") and repeated information about his video and what I would have to do.
Do? I thought. Am I doing something now?
This went on for my entire five hour shift, the customer flow waning and this guy telling me more about his project. Eventually he gave me a Madonna CD asking, "Do you have a CD player at home?" thinking, I suppose, that perhaps Missouri functioned on horse drawn carriages and Omish cheese. "There it is right there, number seven, Vogue. Go home and have a listen, or walk it through as we say."
Vogue? I wanted to say in my best hillbilly accent, what the hell is this Vogue you speak of. And Madonna, who's this? Is this some kind of religious video?
I bit my tongue.
By the end of my shift he was talking to me about contracts and I told him that was the only way I could consider doing anything. He assured me that he was legit, writing down his back-story on two pieces of loose-leaf paper and showing me a photocopy of his graduation certificate from modeling school. I suppose I seemed unimpressed because he continued telling me more and more information about himself and what he'd done, dying for me to throw my hands in the air yelling, "My God man! You are too fucking sexy for your shirt! Dance my friend! Dance on the catwalk!" I was sure that had I been so boisterous he'd have struck a pose right there on the coffee shop bar. But I wasn't, and so this game continued of convincing me I had "raw talent" and that I should dance and model in his video shoot for $100 bucks an hour. Eventually, I said sure. I said, "If you can show me a contract and I can verify it with a lawyer and the whole thing is completely legal and legit, I'll do it--oh yeah, and you can teach me how to dance."
He said it was no problem. He assured me his lawyer would personally present me with the contract and that a professional choreographer would work with me and four other brunette males, six feet tall (appartently the "look" I have--thanks mom!). So, we'll see what happens.
Life is so weird. I mean, honestly, what the hell? People do some strange stuff with their lives. I can't say I EVER in a my most drunken and delusional dreams saw this one coming, but you know what--I'll take what I can get. If this dude's for real and I can make a few thousand dollars in a week for posing in a 1940s suit and top hat, okay. It's no less degrading than cleaning a public restroom and taking out the trash at the end of the night. Me and the misses gotta eat. So, since I know you all follow the fashion industry like stock brokers, as do the rest of us here in the midwest, let me give you the inside scoop; top hats and 1940s suits. Go get yours today. Move over Dick Tracy, I'm movin' in on yo shizot.
"Can I get you something?" I asked, wondering if he needed my attention.
"I'm just watching the way you carry yourself," he said.
I cocked an eyebrow, somewhere between curious and disturbed.
"I'm in the fashion industry back east," he said, unabashedly pretentious, "I'm shooting a video in Columbia, and you have the look. That's a professional compliment, I'm not hitting on you."
"Well...thank you," I said, wanting to add an "I guess."
He darted off, never breaking his runway saunter, as though offended that I didn't take the compliment more seriously. My female co-worker and I had a laugh and I went back to serving up some joe. Thirty minutes later he comes to the counter again, this time with a portfolio of glamour shots.
"Here's my portfolio, I am a model in New York and I am doing a fashion video to Madonna's Vogue." He proceeded to tell me I had the look several more times (although I apparently needed to shave so I could look like "a million bucks") and repeated information about his video and what I would have to do.
Do? I thought. Am I doing something now?
This went on for my entire five hour shift, the customer flow waning and this guy telling me more about his project. Eventually he gave me a Madonna CD asking, "Do you have a CD player at home?" thinking, I suppose, that perhaps Missouri functioned on horse drawn carriages and Omish cheese. "There it is right there, number seven, Vogue. Go home and have a listen, or walk it through as we say."
Vogue? I wanted to say in my best hillbilly accent, what the hell is this Vogue you speak of. And Madonna, who's this? Is this some kind of religious video?
I bit my tongue.
By the end of my shift he was talking to me about contracts and I told him that was the only way I could consider doing anything. He assured me that he was legit, writing down his back-story on two pieces of loose-leaf paper and showing me a photocopy of his graduation certificate from modeling school. I suppose I seemed unimpressed because he continued telling me more and more information about himself and what he'd done, dying for me to throw my hands in the air yelling, "My God man! You are too fucking sexy for your shirt! Dance my friend! Dance on the catwalk!" I was sure that had I been so boisterous he'd have struck a pose right there on the coffee shop bar. But I wasn't, and so this game continued of convincing me I had "raw talent" and that I should dance and model in his video shoot for $100 bucks an hour. Eventually, I said sure. I said, "If you can show me a contract and I can verify it with a lawyer and the whole thing is completely legal and legit, I'll do it--oh yeah, and you can teach me how to dance."
He said it was no problem. He assured me his lawyer would personally present me with the contract and that a professional choreographer would work with me and four other brunette males, six feet tall (appartently the "look" I have--thanks mom!). So, we'll see what happens.
Life is so weird. I mean, honestly, what the hell? People do some strange stuff with their lives. I can't say I EVER in a my most drunken and delusional dreams saw this one coming, but you know what--I'll take what I can get. If this dude's for real and I can make a few thousand dollars in a week for posing in a 1940s suit and top hat, okay. It's no less degrading than cleaning a public restroom and taking out the trash at the end of the night. Me and the misses gotta eat. So, since I know you all follow the fashion industry like stock brokers, as do the rest of us here in the midwest, let me give you the inside scoop; top hats and 1940s suits. Go get yours today. Move over Dick Tracy, I'm movin' in on yo shizot.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Visiting Good Friends
Seattle was incredible. I'm in love. Lakes, mountains, the ocean--it has it all. Thanks to my good friend and spiritual guru Marcus Reynerson and the vibrant, artistic, and always nurturing Bryn Cowgill I feel rejuvenated and in love with life. Did I mention how cool Seattle is? Good. I just want to reiterate.
I was in Washington this week visiting friends and participating in a writer's conference. Both experiences were fantastic. The conference had a multitude of good speakers with useful information on the craft and the industry of writing fiction. I probably had more panic attacks than one person should have in a three day period--from feeling completely out of my element--but I learned a lot that will help me in writing my next story. Funniest story I heard: One literary agent said he took home submissions from authors and read the sample chapters to his seven year old daughter and when she said, "Boring" he threw it aside and moved on. Disheartening, but friggin' hilarious! What else can you do when you recieve 1400 submissions a week?
The flight home was an interesting experience too. Two tornados apparently hit St. Louis just prior to my landing. We landed in a lightning storm and the runway had only emergency lights on because of a power outage. When we touched down the flight attendant came on and said, "You should all congratulate your pilot on the way out, that was a pretty sweet landing." More like punch our pilot in the neck for trying to land in that mess, but hey--we were still alive. In the airport all the electricity and air was off. Thousands of people were running around in the dark in hundred degree heat. Madness. I went to the restroom using my cell phone as a flashlight. I would have been pretty upset except I got a free week's worth of parking out of it because they couldn't charge anyone with the computers down. We're so dependent. It's scary.
Hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed the trip! My very best wishes to all.
I was in Washington this week visiting friends and participating in a writer's conference. Both experiences were fantastic. The conference had a multitude of good speakers with useful information on the craft and the industry of writing fiction. I probably had more panic attacks than one person should have in a three day period--from feeling completely out of my element--but I learned a lot that will help me in writing my next story. Funniest story I heard: One literary agent said he took home submissions from authors and read the sample chapters to his seven year old daughter and when she said, "Boring" he threw it aside and moved on. Disheartening, but friggin' hilarious! What else can you do when you recieve 1400 submissions a week?
The flight home was an interesting experience too. Two tornados apparently hit St. Louis just prior to my landing. We landed in a lightning storm and the runway had only emergency lights on because of a power outage. When we touched down the flight attendant came on and said, "You should all congratulate your pilot on the way out, that was a pretty sweet landing." More like punch our pilot in the neck for trying to land in that mess, but hey--we were still alive. In the airport all the electricity and air was off. Thousands of people were running around in the dark in hundred degree heat. Madness. I went to the restroom using my cell phone as a flashlight. I would have been pretty upset except I got a free week's worth of parking out of it because they couldn't charge anyone with the computers down. We're so dependent. It's scary.
Hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed the trip! My very best wishes to all.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Mexico Story
An American businessman stood at the pier of a small coastal village in
Mexico, when a small boat carrying a lone Mexican fisherman docked.
Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American
complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long
it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, Only a little while.
The American then asked, If it took only a little while to catch these
fine fish, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish? The
fisherman explained that this catch was enough to support his family's
immediate needs.
The American then asked, But what do you do with the rest of your time?
The fisherman replied, I sleep late, fish a little, play with my
children, take a siesta with my wife, and stroll into the village each
evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full
and busy life, señor.
The American scoffed, I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should
spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With
the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats.
Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling
your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor,
eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product,
processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small
coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then L.A., and
eventually New York City, where you would run your expanding enterprise.
The fisherman asked, But señor, how long will this all take?
The American replied, Fifteen to twenty years.
But what then, señor? inquired the Mexican. The American laughed and
said, That's the best part. When the time is right, you would announce
an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich.
You would make millions.
Millions, señor? Then what? asked the Mexican.
The American said, Why, then you would retire, of coursemove to a small
coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play
with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll into the
village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar
with your amigos.
Mexico, when a small boat carrying a lone Mexican fisherman docked.
Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American
complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long
it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, Only a little while.
The American then asked, If it took only a little while to catch these
fine fish, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish? The
fisherman explained that this catch was enough to support his family's
immediate needs.
The American then asked, But what do you do with the rest of your time?
The fisherman replied, I sleep late, fish a little, play with my
children, take a siesta with my wife, and stroll into the village each
evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full
and busy life, señor.
The American scoffed, I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should
spend more time fishing and with the proceeds buy a bigger boat. With
the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats.
Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling
your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor,
eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product,
processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small
coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then L.A., and
eventually New York City, where you would run your expanding enterprise.
The fisherman asked, But señor, how long will this all take?
The American replied, Fifteen to twenty years.
But what then, señor? inquired the Mexican. The American laughed and
said, That's the best part. When the time is right, you would announce
an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich.
You would make millions.
Millions, señor? Then what? asked the Mexican.
The American said, Why, then you would retire, of coursemove to a small
coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play
with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll into the
village in the evenings, where you could sip wine and play your guitar
with your amigos.
Friday, June 30, 2006
My Ever-Changing Perspective
I wish I knew who said it, but I once heard that a thinking person's perspective is constantly evolving. If I can be so bold as to consider myself a thinking person (which is questionable), I have to agree.
I'm currently taking a class at University of Missouri in Modern Literature. As always I am humbled by my English professor and how much he has read and seen and understands about the world. In only two weeks he has managed to turn my worldview on its heels (again) and get me thinking about new sides of old arguments that I had never considered. My professor is probably in his seventies and he understands every allusion and reference to every other work of literature or era of history in such detail that I am constantly awed. He reflects my naive youthfulness and debunks my grasp on reality without breaking stride in his lectures. It's wonderfully liberating to again realize that I don't know shit about shit. I'm a baby--a prepubesant rube.
I haven't written much lately about what I'm up to or where I'm headed. I hit a bit of a plateau over the last few months and felt my wheels spinning over things that I ultimately have no control over. Sorry for expressing those frustrations here, but it does help me to hear what others are thinking about. Now I'm back in school. The plan--if all works out well--is to get my GPA up and apply to PhD programs for English Literature/ Creative Writing (yes, you can get a PhD in Creative Writing believe it or not). Allison is also applying to PhD programs for Counseling Psychology. Ideally we could both get into the same school, but realistically we may have to deal with that once we find out which one of us gets accepted where (if at all). The plan on my end is to continue writing and putting myself in the position to teach on a college level so as not to rely on my writing for sustenance. I've realized over the last year in dealing with my first round of rejections that the publishing world is as cut-throat as any other industry in America. While writing fiction sounds like a pretty idealistic way to spend one's time (and I personally think it is since I love it so much), all that comes with getting a work published seems, so far, like a bit of a racket. But, a racket I'm going to have to deal with. So, I'm going to a writer's conference in Seattle in a couple of weeks (which I'm really looking forward to), and I hope I can gain some perspective on what the less romantic side of writing is all about. I'll keep ya posted.
I see a light somewhere down this tunnel. Sorry for all the dismal posts lately. I was feeling a little lost and disgruntled. Things are looking up though and I feel like I have some new challenges to work towards. I hope everyone out there in cyber- land is doing well and I wish everyone the very best in all their endevours!
Much love,
Jefe'
I'm currently taking a class at University of Missouri in Modern Literature. As always I am humbled by my English professor and how much he has read and seen and understands about the world. In only two weeks he has managed to turn my worldview on its heels (again) and get me thinking about new sides of old arguments that I had never considered. My professor is probably in his seventies and he understands every allusion and reference to every other work of literature or era of history in such detail that I am constantly awed. He reflects my naive youthfulness and debunks my grasp on reality without breaking stride in his lectures. It's wonderfully liberating to again realize that I don't know shit about shit. I'm a baby--a prepubesant rube.
I haven't written much lately about what I'm up to or where I'm headed. I hit a bit of a plateau over the last few months and felt my wheels spinning over things that I ultimately have no control over. Sorry for expressing those frustrations here, but it does help me to hear what others are thinking about. Now I'm back in school. The plan--if all works out well--is to get my GPA up and apply to PhD programs for English Literature/ Creative Writing (yes, you can get a PhD in Creative Writing believe it or not). Allison is also applying to PhD programs for Counseling Psychology. Ideally we could both get into the same school, but realistically we may have to deal with that once we find out which one of us gets accepted where (if at all). The plan on my end is to continue writing and putting myself in the position to teach on a college level so as not to rely on my writing for sustenance. I've realized over the last year in dealing with my first round of rejections that the publishing world is as cut-throat as any other industry in America. While writing fiction sounds like a pretty idealistic way to spend one's time (and I personally think it is since I love it so much), all that comes with getting a work published seems, so far, like a bit of a racket. But, a racket I'm going to have to deal with. So, I'm going to a writer's conference in Seattle in a couple of weeks (which I'm really looking forward to), and I hope I can gain some perspective on what the less romantic side of writing is all about. I'll keep ya posted.
I see a light somewhere down this tunnel. Sorry for all the dismal posts lately. I was feeling a little lost and disgruntled. Things are looking up though and I feel like I have some new challenges to work towards. I hope everyone out there in cyber- land is doing well and I wish everyone the very best in all their endevours!
Much love,
Jefe'
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
A New Movement
I’m ready for something new. I don’t mean that I’m looking for a new personal area of interest (although this is never a bad thing), or that I’m making some vague political statement about the Bush administration (although it’s pretty clear he’s all washed up)--I’m talking about art in its most general and sprawling definition. It seems to me that no matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to get rid of the sixties—with all its washed out, shallow metaphors and drug-induced attempts at enlightenment. The “drifter” was a cool guy to be in the fifties; Jack Kerouac, Alan Ginsberg, these were guys worth having a conversation with--carving their stream-of-consciousness, counter-culture, live for the moment, leave your possessions, life is jazz mentality into the minds of the upcoming children of peace and love. But that’s where it should have stopped and been turned into something concrete. The Beatniks had something to say. They were the closest thing that this country has ever had to a mainstream intellectual/ artistic movement, where writers and poets and bright minds were taken seriously enough to be celebrities in the American mainstream. They lived their words: train-hopping, ground camping, money scrounging their way to the next town, looking desperately for some depth and meaning to set them free from the mundane, suburbanite bullshit that was eroding the minds of everyone around them. These were great men. They had courage to be something different and to say, “I’m intelligent, self-sufficient, and more alive than you are. I have no money, I have no home, and I am still an American, and what’s more, I have influence. I don’t need corporate sponsorship, I don’t need government protection--I don’t need anything but my pen. I live by my words and I’m willing to die by them." Each was a soldier in his own rite.
Then came the hippies. The hippies said, “That’s all fine and well, but we’re not so interested in the whole discipline thing." So, the Beatnik’s intellectual counter-culture turned into a thing of the heart. Hippies were, by and large, good-intentioned, big-hearted, talent-less vagabonds who turned, “scrounging for money to find Truth and create something lasting” into “scrounging for money to get to the next music festival and buy more acid." The musicians had some talent, but not a lot of discipline. The movement lost steam because it became more about having fun than about finding meaning. It stopped asking the big questions and started giving the easy answers—-simple answers, like love each other and make peace, not war, answers that were broad and spiritual and, ultimately, as we've seen, easier to say and sing about than to actually live out in reality. The now moody, reality-blurred movement dissipated into an age of bad music, confusion, and brainless disco dancing with only the Grateful Dead to keep the hippy dream alive. The Beatniks surely would have been disappointed to see that the hippies let drugs and sex and spinning around until they saw God come between them and their movement.
This is not to say that some good and lasting things didn’t come out of the sixties: Civil Rights, Feminism, conscientious objection to violence, these ideas were specific and useful towards a greater good. They were tangible ideas that Americans could understand and buy into. Many other worthwhile ideas were swept away with the Bohemian Mafia, content with cultureless dissent and structure-less, tacky, anything-goes art and music. In its place came the eighties' synthesized music with nothing to say and even harder drugs to do. With the voice of the intellectuals all but absent—-only Kurt Vonnegut to cynically mock the ridiculousness of the Regan years—-the voice of the Beatniks cowered even further from the mainstream into an elitist group sitting in campus coffee shops scratching their chins. The mainstream voice still trying to speak out for Truth and real Freedom (when it comes to big decisions), became angry in the nineties with grunge music (a fair attempt, but still ultimately undisciplined and lacking motivation), and has now turned to cynicism and sarcasm among anyone still tuning out and clinging to reality in a culture of people looking for anything that will catapult them into stardom: a gimmick, an image, a façade that will entertain the American people like dangling car keys in front of a newborn child. Today's "artists" have nothing to say, it's all about them. If an artist can stick to a inner voice and express something meaningful and people buy into it enough to make this artist wealthy--fine. But today's artists simply cater to what the people want and it has turned all of our fine arts into watered-down, mono-cultured, commercial bullshit. Every book on the bestseller list is the same book, every song on the radio is the same song, every voice in America is the same voice, and it's saying, "I care more about money than saying what I really think about life."
So, I’m ready for something new. I’m ready for this country to get fed up with the bullshit and start enduring some boring mindfulness for the sake of something beautiful and lasting, something with depth and meaning, something that might possibly echo the sentiment of the Beatniks who were willing to sleep in a barn rather than compromise with a culture that spends their time talking about what color couch will match their curtains. Anytime you’re ready artists and musicians. Anytime you’re ready intellectuals. Anytime you’re ready American mainstream—-to calm down and do something that involves talent and thought, something creative that is about enriching your culture and not about making you rich-—I’m ready to see it.
Then came the hippies. The hippies said, “That’s all fine and well, but we’re not so interested in the whole discipline thing." So, the Beatnik’s intellectual counter-culture turned into a thing of the heart. Hippies were, by and large, good-intentioned, big-hearted, talent-less vagabonds who turned, “scrounging for money to find Truth and create something lasting” into “scrounging for money to get to the next music festival and buy more acid." The musicians had some talent, but not a lot of discipline. The movement lost steam because it became more about having fun than about finding meaning. It stopped asking the big questions and started giving the easy answers—-simple answers, like love each other and make peace, not war, answers that were broad and spiritual and, ultimately, as we've seen, easier to say and sing about than to actually live out in reality. The now moody, reality-blurred movement dissipated into an age of bad music, confusion, and brainless disco dancing with only the Grateful Dead to keep the hippy dream alive. The Beatniks surely would have been disappointed to see that the hippies let drugs and sex and spinning around until they saw God come between them and their movement.
This is not to say that some good and lasting things didn’t come out of the sixties: Civil Rights, Feminism, conscientious objection to violence, these ideas were specific and useful towards a greater good. They were tangible ideas that Americans could understand and buy into. Many other worthwhile ideas were swept away with the Bohemian Mafia, content with cultureless dissent and structure-less, tacky, anything-goes art and music. In its place came the eighties' synthesized music with nothing to say and even harder drugs to do. With the voice of the intellectuals all but absent—-only Kurt Vonnegut to cynically mock the ridiculousness of the Regan years—-the voice of the Beatniks cowered even further from the mainstream into an elitist group sitting in campus coffee shops scratching their chins. The mainstream voice still trying to speak out for Truth and real Freedom (when it comes to big decisions), became angry in the nineties with grunge music (a fair attempt, but still ultimately undisciplined and lacking motivation), and has now turned to cynicism and sarcasm among anyone still tuning out and clinging to reality in a culture of people looking for anything that will catapult them into stardom: a gimmick, an image, a façade that will entertain the American people like dangling car keys in front of a newborn child. Today's "artists" have nothing to say, it's all about them. If an artist can stick to a inner voice and express something meaningful and people buy into it enough to make this artist wealthy--fine. But today's artists simply cater to what the people want and it has turned all of our fine arts into watered-down, mono-cultured, commercial bullshit. Every book on the bestseller list is the same book, every song on the radio is the same song, every voice in America is the same voice, and it's saying, "I care more about money than saying what I really think about life."
So, I’m ready for something new. I’m ready for this country to get fed up with the bullshit and start enduring some boring mindfulness for the sake of something beautiful and lasting, something with depth and meaning, something that might possibly echo the sentiment of the Beatniks who were willing to sleep in a barn rather than compromise with a culture that spends their time talking about what color couch will match their curtains. Anytime you’re ready artists and musicians. Anytime you’re ready intellectuals. Anytime you’re ready American mainstream—-to calm down and do something that involves talent and thought, something creative that is about enriching your culture and not about making you rich-—I’m ready to see it.
Monday, June 05, 2006
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Organic Living
I don't know what to say really, but it's 1:30 in the morning and I've been watching Jon Stewart clips on YouTube for over an hour now (because I am too cheap for cable) and thought, I should make some sort of personal update on my blog. Lately, for those of you who come by for a read--and I thank you kindly for doing so--I've been a bit distraught. Angry is what most people might call it, and bitching and complaining about pretty much anything that pops into my head when I sit down to write. This happens from time to time and if you check in with me on a regular basis, you're likely to hear me say some pretty petty and ridiculous stuff. But who doesn't have their pet peaves. Some people complain about their own life, some people complain about the people in their life--I prefer to bitch about broad mostly unchangable ideas and customs that frustrate me.
Here's the thing. I think most of the civilized world is pretty silly. I realize that this is not something that a lot of people can relate to, but I have spent literally hundreds of days (adding up to close to a full year) of my life in the backcountry of the United States. This means no phones, no TV, no news, no institutions of any kind (save whatever park service runs the land I'm on); just me and trees and rocks. This is how it goes. On the first week you're out it's a little uncomfortable; there's rain, there's bugs, your body hurts at night when you fall asleep on the ground, but then a change happens. You start to realize that you are biologically created to survive in this environment. Soon your nerves are calm, your mind is relaxed, you feel very comfortable and organic--the truest you one might ever experience. No more appointments, no more phone calls, no emailing, no sensory overload from blinking lights and abbrasive advertisements, no alchohol or coffee to help you deal with the stress, no religion to escape life with thoughts of things to come--nothing--just pure life (Pura Vida!).
So in this blissful state one can begin to look down from a high peak at the city lights and say, "What a friggin' racket". As humans we've created this entire world that is completely seperate from what our bodies and minds are engineered to survive in and then we wonder why we're all so stressed out and unhappy all the time. So if I seem bitter or disillusioned in my blogs, it's because I lived a pretty spoiled life for over two years. I was getting paid to backpack and I gave it up for something more. The thing is, although I think civilization is mostly ridiculous with all of its stereotypes and institutions and holier-than-thou individuals that couldn't wipe their own asses in God's actual creation (if you believe in that sort of thing) for a week, I'm still a big fan of the cultural elements that the woods can't provide. I love music, I love art, I love literature, but when I tell people this I sound like a snob. I've been called a hippy, a bum, a liberal, and any other term Americans can conjure up for a person who doesn't care much for getting rich and wasting his life away on things that don't amount to a small pile of crap when it's all said and done.
That being said, I'm trying to make it here in the "real" world now, and those organic feelings are all but forgotten. I'm anxious all day long and over-stimulated. My mind races, and if I let my guard down for half a second some advertiser plays on my human weakness and I feel the urge to spend money I don't have. I have stereotypes placed on me as a man and as a husband and people expect that you are doing what everyone else in the world is doing. If you aren't, they can barely hear what you are telling them. It simply doesn't register that someone in 21st century America might spend his or her days in the woods. I assure you when you step outside it all for a couple of weeks, it seems like a gigantic cosmic joke. Sometimes I feel like the only "real" life that is happening is out in the woods and I'm walking around in some kind of ridiculous circus.
Anyway, this is my one and only explaination for my comments and cynicism about "civilized" life. I will now recommence my satirical badgering and other such outlashings. In the meantime if you care to go for a couple weeks in the mountains with me, for the sake of enlightenment, drop me a line.
Here's the thing. I think most of the civilized world is pretty silly. I realize that this is not something that a lot of people can relate to, but I have spent literally hundreds of days (adding up to close to a full year) of my life in the backcountry of the United States. This means no phones, no TV, no news, no institutions of any kind (save whatever park service runs the land I'm on); just me and trees and rocks. This is how it goes. On the first week you're out it's a little uncomfortable; there's rain, there's bugs, your body hurts at night when you fall asleep on the ground, but then a change happens. You start to realize that you are biologically created to survive in this environment. Soon your nerves are calm, your mind is relaxed, you feel very comfortable and organic--the truest you one might ever experience. No more appointments, no more phone calls, no emailing, no sensory overload from blinking lights and abbrasive advertisements, no alchohol or coffee to help you deal with the stress, no religion to escape life with thoughts of things to come--nothing--just pure life (Pura Vida!).
So in this blissful state one can begin to look down from a high peak at the city lights and say, "What a friggin' racket". As humans we've created this entire world that is completely seperate from what our bodies and minds are engineered to survive in and then we wonder why we're all so stressed out and unhappy all the time. So if I seem bitter or disillusioned in my blogs, it's because I lived a pretty spoiled life for over two years. I was getting paid to backpack and I gave it up for something more. The thing is, although I think civilization is mostly ridiculous with all of its stereotypes and institutions and holier-than-thou individuals that couldn't wipe their own asses in God's actual creation (if you believe in that sort of thing) for a week, I'm still a big fan of the cultural elements that the woods can't provide. I love music, I love art, I love literature, but when I tell people this I sound like a snob. I've been called a hippy, a bum, a liberal, and any other term Americans can conjure up for a person who doesn't care much for getting rich and wasting his life away on things that don't amount to a small pile of crap when it's all said and done.
That being said, I'm trying to make it here in the "real" world now, and those organic feelings are all but forgotten. I'm anxious all day long and over-stimulated. My mind races, and if I let my guard down for half a second some advertiser plays on my human weakness and I feel the urge to spend money I don't have. I have stereotypes placed on me as a man and as a husband and people expect that you are doing what everyone else in the world is doing. If you aren't, they can barely hear what you are telling them. It simply doesn't register that someone in 21st century America might spend his or her days in the woods. I assure you when you step outside it all for a couple of weeks, it seems like a gigantic cosmic joke. Sometimes I feel like the only "real" life that is happening is out in the woods and I'm walking around in some kind of ridiculous circus.
Anyway, this is my one and only explaination for my comments and cynicism about "civilized" life. I will now recommence my satirical badgering and other such outlashings. In the meantime if you care to go for a couple weeks in the mountains with me, for the sake of enlightenment, drop me a line.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
The Four Letter Word
I heard a sound-bite the other day from Hillary Clinton saying that, "Kids today don't know what work is. They think work is a four letter word. They think they should go right to the top making fifty or seventy thousand dollars a year and they have TVs and I-pods and computers...I hope we get back to the old way of doing things. I hope we all start thinking some very old fashioned thoughts in the future."
So upon hearing this my first reaction was, yeah, she's right. I've thought this very thing before and even alluded to it in a previous blog. Then I let it roll around for awhile and thought, what older person hasn't thought this about the upcoming generation? Of course we have a better life, supposedly because that's what our parents were working for. And of course our higher level of comfort is going to bring about a more liberal attitude toward work (among other things). But I'd like to give us more credit than just being a generation of Trustifarians (spoiled kids). Despite some of the things I've said before, I think that my generation is starting to wake up a little bit. I think we're looking at our parents--two-thirds of whom are divorced, many of whom are on anti-anxiety and depression meds, most of whom hate the jobs they're working but keep doing it for the sake of money--and we're saying, what's the point? So we work some mediocre job and we live in some cookie-cutter neighborhood and we try to be good people (whatever that means anymore) and when the dissonance gets to be too much we look around at all our nice things and say, "Well, I can't complain too much." Why would we want to repeat this? More importantly, why would we want to one-up this?
I think my generation is finally saying enough is enough. We're saying it quietly-- it's definitely not the grand cosmic turn-around that people predicted of the Gen- Xers, but if you look at the big picture, a change is happening. People my age don't want forty-hour a week jobs. Some of us still work them, but we're looking for something with some flexibility. We want to have control over our lives Senator Clinton. We're tired of being miserable just because our parents were. We're not down with the Puritan work ethic. Let's face it America, we're not Puritans. I can't even check my email without seeing some twenty-year-old in a bikini trying to sell me car insurance. Why? Because sex sells and we just don't care anymore about whether it's right or wrong. Those are questions the Puritans would have asked, not Americans. Not in a country that wants to believe that what we're doing is okay so desperately that we create our own news station (Fox News) that agrees with the government and will tell us everything's going great despite a huge anti-American sentiment throughout the entire world. But I digress.
On the topic of work, my feeling is that it just doesn't matter all that much. So some of us would rather be hanging out and working part time jobs or jobs with flexible schedules, or getting higher degrees in something we enjoy. Would it be so horrible to have a more educated America? Maybe some of us just want to enjoy life a little bit before we bite it. Or maybe I'm just out of touch with my own generation. I can't be too far off if it's coming up in politics. So if you're a Gen-Xer, don't fret. I say we move to the thirty-hour work week right now. Let's all build more moderate houses and drive little hydrogen powered cars. Let's throw away our anti-depressants and give a big middle finger to this arrogant, bigger is better attitude our seniors have passed on to us. Let's start using our heads a little bit. We have to start thinking about social responsibility in this country or we're going to be passing on a time bomb to the next generation. Slow down. Breath. Go for a walk. A long walk. Or a bike ride. Just chill out because you're driving me crazy. And if chilling out means I'm not a good Puritan-American, well, I think I'll sleep okay tonight (without the aid of sleeping pills).
So upon hearing this my first reaction was, yeah, she's right. I've thought this very thing before and even alluded to it in a previous blog. Then I let it roll around for awhile and thought, what older person hasn't thought this about the upcoming generation? Of course we have a better life, supposedly because that's what our parents were working for. And of course our higher level of comfort is going to bring about a more liberal attitude toward work (among other things). But I'd like to give us more credit than just being a generation of Trustifarians (spoiled kids). Despite some of the things I've said before, I think that my generation is starting to wake up a little bit. I think we're looking at our parents--two-thirds of whom are divorced, many of whom are on anti-anxiety and depression meds, most of whom hate the jobs they're working but keep doing it for the sake of money--and we're saying, what's the point? So we work some mediocre job and we live in some cookie-cutter neighborhood and we try to be good people (whatever that means anymore) and when the dissonance gets to be too much we look around at all our nice things and say, "Well, I can't complain too much." Why would we want to repeat this? More importantly, why would we want to one-up this?
I think my generation is finally saying enough is enough. We're saying it quietly-- it's definitely not the grand cosmic turn-around that people predicted of the Gen- Xers, but if you look at the big picture, a change is happening. People my age don't want forty-hour a week jobs. Some of us still work them, but we're looking for something with some flexibility. We want to have control over our lives Senator Clinton. We're tired of being miserable just because our parents were. We're not down with the Puritan work ethic. Let's face it America, we're not Puritans. I can't even check my email without seeing some twenty-year-old in a bikini trying to sell me car insurance. Why? Because sex sells and we just don't care anymore about whether it's right or wrong. Those are questions the Puritans would have asked, not Americans. Not in a country that wants to believe that what we're doing is okay so desperately that we create our own news station (Fox News) that agrees with the government and will tell us everything's going great despite a huge anti-American sentiment throughout the entire world. But I digress.
On the topic of work, my feeling is that it just doesn't matter all that much. So some of us would rather be hanging out and working part time jobs or jobs with flexible schedules, or getting higher degrees in something we enjoy. Would it be so horrible to have a more educated America? Maybe some of us just want to enjoy life a little bit before we bite it. Or maybe I'm just out of touch with my own generation. I can't be too far off if it's coming up in politics. So if you're a Gen-Xer, don't fret. I say we move to the thirty-hour work week right now. Let's all build more moderate houses and drive little hydrogen powered cars. Let's throw away our anti-depressants and give a big middle finger to this arrogant, bigger is better attitude our seniors have passed on to us. Let's start using our heads a little bit. We have to start thinking about social responsibility in this country or we're going to be passing on a time bomb to the next generation. Slow down. Breath. Go for a walk. A long walk. Or a bike ride. Just chill out because you're driving me crazy. And if chilling out means I'm not a good Puritan-American, well, I think I'll sleep okay tonight (without the aid of sleeping pills).
Monday, May 01, 2006
Thought Train (or Ethics 101)
More times than not I use this blog as a means of ranting and raving about my world views, or for passing moral judgement on American apathy, or for keeping my family and friends posted on what I'm up to. It's pretty easy for me to sit here at my computer, in my house, alone, and write whatever I want on this screen; sometimes forgeting that I'm publishing very personal things for whomever should wander into my blog to read. That doesn't bother me so much. My passion is writing, and writers must share parts of themselves that others may choose to keep very private. After awhile, what I have found, is that most people aren't all that different. However, many of us are putting on airs.
What I mean is, some of us (myself included), at times like to try to act like we aren't humans. We like to put ourselves on this higher level than the rest of humanity, whether it's morally or intellectually or physically or spiritually or all of the above. We don't want to be like everyone else. We want to be our own special snowflake. Which is great, except, when push comes to shove, we've all felt depressed, we've all felt elated, most of us have felt what we thought was love (or maybe even the real thing), we all think about sex, we all have been pushed to the thought of violence, we've all felt a sense of accomplishment...we're all living things. It's natural. We can't escape it. What we can do is evolve.
So where is the line? If one is trying to evolve (and by evolving I mean making a conscious effort to grow in some or all of the areas above) and others are not, when is it okay to say, "I am just beyond this as a person"? Is it ever okay? It's a pretty shitty feeling to be on either end. If you're trying to have a conversation with someone who knows more than you, or is more physically fit than you are, or thinks on a deeper level than you, holds themself to a stricter code of morality, etc. you don't want to be talked down to. But then if you are the person who knows more, you don't want to be snubbed off as someone who doesn't know his toe-nails from his earlobes. So where does the responsibility lie to show respect of one's achievements or one's evolution (stay with me here cause I'm working this thought out as we go). Let's say someone with a Ph.D. in Anthropology meets a priest. And let's say this isn't one of your kindly parish priests, in fact, let's make him a bishop; someone who is very serious about his faith and considers his spirituality and morality to be superior to the average person. Now the Ph.D. in Anthropology couldn't care less about this achievement; she's an atheist and strictly an academic person. And the priest couldn't care less about her having a Ph.D. because he is judging her purely on her level of faith. Likewise, if it were say a tri-athelete judging either of them on their physical ability. Do we consider this a miscommunication? Do basic manners take care of this issue?
I only bring this up because in this temp job I'm working there is a wide array of people; everyone from post-doctoral scientists to farmers, and I've been noticing that everyone seems to make judgements on each other based on very different standards. The woman who runs the program dresses very nicely and carries herself with an air of confidence that demands respect. Some of the people take this as she's trying too hard, others think she's a bitch, and others (myself included) respect her position as the leader of a group of educated adults. My question is, if everyone could respect that she has to play the role of the leader, would she still have to dress in a way that commands respect? Or is she really compensating? What if she just wore jeans and a t-shirt, but was obviously smarter than everyone in the room? What if a priest was Joe nobody that sat in the congregation like an average person? Would we still be able to tell he was morally superior? I was offered a promotion at this temp job, and I'm of the belief that the only reason I was singled out was because I put on a collared shirt every morning and tried to look professional. Is that a fair way to choose? Cause if it is then you have to get into the whole issue that not everyone can afford nice clothes, etc.
I'm losing the thought train here, but my point is this. Humans are humans on a basic level. Some of us choose to evolve. Others are fine with where they are. Some of us are opportunistic, others of us think opportunistic people are slimy for trying to get ahead. A farmer may consider some of the three-syllable words learned in graduate school to be snobbish and unnecessary. A lawyer may think raising your own chickens is a waste of time and money. Who should respect whom and why? Or is this all a matter of playing nicely and talking behind each other's backs?
I think this issue has a lot to do with the culture wars going on in this country and why everyone wants to find a niche and pretend they're in some kind of gang. What do you all think? Comments? Elaborations?
What I mean is, some of us (myself included), at times like to try to act like we aren't humans. We like to put ourselves on this higher level than the rest of humanity, whether it's morally or intellectually or physically or spiritually or all of the above. We don't want to be like everyone else. We want to be our own special snowflake. Which is great, except, when push comes to shove, we've all felt depressed, we've all felt elated, most of us have felt what we thought was love (or maybe even the real thing), we all think about sex, we all have been pushed to the thought of violence, we've all felt a sense of accomplishment...we're all living things. It's natural. We can't escape it. What we can do is evolve.
So where is the line? If one is trying to evolve (and by evolving I mean making a conscious effort to grow in some or all of the areas above) and others are not, when is it okay to say, "I am just beyond this as a person"? Is it ever okay? It's a pretty shitty feeling to be on either end. If you're trying to have a conversation with someone who knows more than you, or is more physically fit than you are, or thinks on a deeper level than you, holds themself to a stricter code of morality, etc. you don't want to be talked down to. But then if you are the person who knows more, you don't want to be snubbed off as someone who doesn't know his toe-nails from his earlobes. So where does the responsibility lie to show respect of one's achievements or one's evolution (stay with me here cause I'm working this thought out as we go). Let's say someone with a Ph.D. in Anthropology meets a priest. And let's say this isn't one of your kindly parish priests, in fact, let's make him a bishop; someone who is very serious about his faith and considers his spirituality and morality to be superior to the average person. Now the Ph.D. in Anthropology couldn't care less about this achievement; she's an atheist and strictly an academic person. And the priest couldn't care less about her having a Ph.D. because he is judging her purely on her level of faith. Likewise, if it were say a tri-athelete judging either of them on their physical ability. Do we consider this a miscommunication? Do basic manners take care of this issue?
I only bring this up because in this temp job I'm working there is a wide array of people; everyone from post-doctoral scientists to farmers, and I've been noticing that everyone seems to make judgements on each other based on very different standards. The woman who runs the program dresses very nicely and carries herself with an air of confidence that demands respect. Some of the people take this as she's trying too hard, others think she's a bitch, and others (myself included) respect her position as the leader of a group of educated adults. My question is, if everyone could respect that she has to play the role of the leader, would she still have to dress in a way that commands respect? Or is she really compensating? What if she just wore jeans and a t-shirt, but was obviously smarter than everyone in the room? What if a priest was Joe nobody that sat in the congregation like an average person? Would we still be able to tell he was morally superior? I was offered a promotion at this temp job, and I'm of the belief that the only reason I was singled out was because I put on a collared shirt every morning and tried to look professional. Is that a fair way to choose? Cause if it is then you have to get into the whole issue that not everyone can afford nice clothes, etc.
I'm losing the thought train here, but my point is this. Humans are humans on a basic level. Some of us choose to evolve. Others are fine with where they are. Some of us are opportunistic, others of us think opportunistic people are slimy for trying to get ahead. A farmer may consider some of the three-syllable words learned in graduate school to be snobbish and unnecessary. A lawyer may think raising your own chickens is a waste of time and money. Who should respect whom and why? Or is this all a matter of playing nicely and talking behind each other's backs?
I think this issue has a lot to do with the culture wars going on in this country and why everyone wants to find a niche and pretend they're in some kind of gang. What do you all think? Comments? Elaborations?
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Easter Egg Hunt??!#$>#($*
So I have a concern about adults in this country. Specifically, my own generation, but I'll wager that those who came before me are just as much to blame. I should preface this concern by saying that I'm currently working a temp job scoring standardized tests in an office setting (something I'm new too) and today we took an hour out of our rigorous work of filling in little scantron bubble sheets to have an Easter egg hunt. Yes, an Easter egg hunt--that joyous event of running around in an elbow-throwing, teeth-clenching, rugby game in celebration of the risin' Christ and to gather enough candy to necessitate in multiple root canals (and they don't offer Dental). When one was five, this was questionably entertaining. When one is twenty-six to sixty, this is a degrading way for a soccer mom posing as a business woman to add insult to injury over the fact that you had to take a temp job in the first place.
Now Easter egg hunts in a supposedly professional setting with people who may or may not celebrate Easter, and undoubtedly have not recently chased other adults around a field on the side of a warehouse in the sprawl of small town Missouri, is not the end of the world. Nor are the seemingly endless conversations I overhear/ am drug into from thirty year old men who are ecstatic about the newest video game station that is coming out.
I say to them, "Does it bother you that other people our age are over in Iraq killing people that have done nothing to them or to our country so that you can comfortably return home from your Easter egg hunt to play Doom XXXII and a fourth?"
They look at me like I'm their grandfather and say, "Not really. I don't really follow politics."
There was a time when thirty year old men would have been ostracized by society for saying such a thing; a time when it was completely ludicrous that someone with the right to free speech and to elect officials of their choosing would not follow the career of the person pulling the strings that control his life. But hey, we live in leisurely times, and who really wants to know about the fifteen hundred laws that were passed restricting your freedom today? My concern is who is going to lead us when my generation gets our day in court. I personally don't have any friends who went to Harvard or Yale, but I have to assume people are still going to these institutions. And I suppose if they are, it would be reasonable to assume that those people will be the "Ivy League Assholes" who are pissing me off into my old age. Now, last time I checked this country was still kinda, sorta, somthing like a democracy (but not completely), which means we don't necessarily have to elect "Ivy League Assholes", we just continue to do it. Perhaps because they have the connections. Or maybe they just get all the breaks. I can't be certain that Yale and Harvard professionals don't have Easter egg parties after work, but I'm guessing if they did, the person who planned it would go missing for quite awhile afterwards.
I don't know why it seems like every political election is between tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber, but I do know that they certainly seem to know words I've not heard around the water cooler lately and speak intelligently about their country over and beyond anything I've heard since my political science class. Maybe the fact that they read books by great men and women instead of playing playstation has something to do with it. Or maybe their cable is constantly out and they can't tune in to vote for the next musical genius on American Idol. I don't know. But I do know it's getting awfully hard to back the "working man" when my generation's working man is a lazy bastard that plays video games and watches cartoons all evening.
When I was working in the woods awhile back, I used to think, "Man, those people working office jobs got it rough." (as I was putting in sixteen hour days outdoors for practically slave wages and living in a cabin with five other grown men). Now that I'm sitting in the air conditioning filling in bubble sheets, and checking my email on breaks, I'm thinking, "These people working office jobs are lazy, whiny bastards!" I don't mean to sound like an ass (yes I do) but my mom was a fourth grade teacher and my dad was a carpenter. I didn't exactly come from power and riches, but I've still managed to see most of this country, pay my way through school, and maintain a balanced bank account. It's not that hard. You just don't buy shit if you don't have money to pay for it. You educate yourself instead of letting other people tell you what to do, and for Christ sake, go see your country! We live in one of the most beautiful places in the world and we have the freedom to go anywhere and live anywhere we choose. Trust me, your friends will never even notice you left.
Here's my theory: Most Americans think they are going to one day be rich and famous. They don't know why. They don't know how, but they live in this constant day dream that it might happen any day. Thus, they buy stuff assuming that they'll be able to pay it off later, they vote for people that are going to let them keep their money (that they don't really have), and they watch a lot of TV and read a lot of magazines to keep the dream alive. It makes no sense.
Here's my advice. 1) Be broke and break even every month. Sell your new car, sell your new house, go live in a shack with the college kids until you are one hundred percent out of debt (Everyone knows what you do for a living and that you don't deserve that car or house yet. And we all have student loans, quit whining). 2) Stop avoiding intelligent conversations. Intelligent people debate politics (and sound like blow hards) because they have lives and money that are tied up in the system. They have something to lose. If you pay attention they will throw away more ideas for living a better life in an hour than most of us will have in our whole lifetime. 3) Go back to school. I don't care if you are twenty-five or fifty-five. By now you can probably tell how fast life is going; those remaining years of college will be over in a flash and your life will be exponentially more enjoyable because of it (even if your dream is something as simple as a family and a lake house). 4) If you have a dream, chase it now. Get up at five AM, stay up until mid-night, save every dime you have this year and quit your job so you can make it happen. Or get real. 5) Consult a specialist--always--in all areas of your life. Don't ask Mom and Dad (unless they're specialists in what you want to know), don't ask listen to your best friend (no matter how convincing he sounds); we live in an information age. Google a website with edu, gov, or org at the end and find out the actual answers to your questions.
And finally, don't ever stay at a job that makes you do childish, degrading shit to break up the monotony of your pathetic day. And with that, I have some job hunting to do.
Now Easter egg hunts in a supposedly professional setting with people who may or may not celebrate Easter, and undoubtedly have not recently chased other adults around a field on the side of a warehouse in the sprawl of small town Missouri, is not the end of the world. Nor are the seemingly endless conversations I overhear/ am drug into from thirty year old men who are ecstatic about the newest video game station that is coming out.
I say to them, "Does it bother you that other people our age are over in Iraq killing people that have done nothing to them or to our country so that you can comfortably return home from your Easter egg hunt to play Doom XXXII and a fourth?"
They look at me like I'm their grandfather and say, "Not really. I don't really follow politics."
There was a time when thirty year old men would have been ostracized by society for saying such a thing; a time when it was completely ludicrous that someone with the right to free speech and to elect officials of their choosing would not follow the career of the person pulling the strings that control his life. But hey, we live in leisurely times, and who really wants to know about the fifteen hundred laws that were passed restricting your freedom today? My concern is who is going to lead us when my generation gets our day in court. I personally don't have any friends who went to Harvard or Yale, but I have to assume people are still going to these institutions. And I suppose if they are, it would be reasonable to assume that those people will be the "Ivy League Assholes" who are pissing me off into my old age. Now, last time I checked this country was still kinda, sorta, somthing like a democracy (but not completely), which means we don't necessarily have to elect "Ivy League Assholes", we just continue to do it. Perhaps because they have the connections. Or maybe they just get all the breaks. I can't be certain that Yale and Harvard professionals don't have Easter egg parties after work, but I'm guessing if they did, the person who planned it would go missing for quite awhile afterwards.
I don't know why it seems like every political election is between tweedle-dumb and tweedle-dumber, but I do know that they certainly seem to know words I've not heard around the water cooler lately and speak intelligently about their country over and beyond anything I've heard since my political science class. Maybe the fact that they read books by great men and women instead of playing playstation has something to do with it. Or maybe their cable is constantly out and they can't tune in to vote for the next musical genius on American Idol. I don't know. But I do know it's getting awfully hard to back the "working man" when my generation's working man is a lazy bastard that plays video games and watches cartoons all evening.
When I was working in the woods awhile back, I used to think, "Man, those people working office jobs got it rough." (as I was putting in sixteen hour days outdoors for practically slave wages and living in a cabin with five other grown men). Now that I'm sitting in the air conditioning filling in bubble sheets, and checking my email on breaks, I'm thinking, "These people working office jobs are lazy, whiny bastards!" I don't mean to sound like an ass (yes I do) but my mom was a fourth grade teacher and my dad was a carpenter. I didn't exactly come from power and riches, but I've still managed to see most of this country, pay my way through school, and maintain a balanced bank account. It's not that hard. You just don't buy shit if you don't have money to pay for it. You educate yourself instead of letting other people tell you what to do, and for Christ sake, go see your country! We live in one of the most beautiful places in the world and we have the freedom to go anywhere and live anywhere we choose. Trust me, your friends will never even notice you left.
Here's my theory: Most Americans think they are going to one day be rich and famous. They don't know why. They don't know how, but they live in this constant day dream that it might happen any day. Thus, they buy stuff assuming that they'll be able to pay it off later, they vote for people that are going to let them keep their money (that they don't really have), and they watch a lot of TV and read a lot of magazines to keep the dream alive. It makes no sense.
Here's my advice. 1) Be broke and break even every month. Sell your new car, sell your new house, go live in a shack with the college kids until you are one hundred percent out of debt (Everyone knows what you do for a living and that you don't deserve that car or house yet. And we all have student loans, quit whining). 2) Stop avoiding intelligent conversations. Intelligent people debate politics (and sound like blow hards) because they have lives and money that are tied up in the system. They have something to lose. If you pay attention they will throw away more ideas for living a better life in an hour than most of us will have in our whole lifetime. 3) Go back to school. I don't care if you are twenty-five or fifty-five. By now you can probably tell how fast life is going; those remaining years of college will be over in a flash and your life will be exponentially more enjoyable because of it (even if your dream is something as simple as a family and a lake house). 4) If you have a dream, chase it now. Get up at five AM, stay up until mid-night, save every dime you have this year and quit your job so you can make it happen. Or get real. 5) Consult a specialist--always--in all areas of your life. Don't ask Mom and Dad (unless they're specialists in what you want to know), don't ask listen to your best friend (no matter how convincing he sounds); we live in an information age. Google a website with edu, gov, or org at the end and find out the actual answers to your questions.
And finally, don't ever stay at a job that makes you do childish, degrading shit to break up the monotony of your pathetic day. And with that, I have some job hunting to do.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
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