What if...?

In case you haven't figured this out from previous blogs I spend a lot of time thinking about how America came to be so messed up and all around an unenjoyable place to live and I came up with this thought that we made a wrong turn when we decided both parents should start working. Now, I realize that sounds sexist, so bare with me. What I mean is that we had a moment in history where, as a country, men were working too hard and not spending time with their families and going off to war and generally obsessed with making money and building shit and drinking themselves to death and whatever...that's great. This obviously caused a rift in the balance of things and women said, "Enough is enough. We want the liberty to take care of ourselves and not depend on these crazy bastards who are all about themselves." From then on women have been moving in a direction of not really needing us for much--even those of us who are all for empowering women. Where has this put us as a nation? Well, let's remove judgement and just look at facts. Less than 50% of adults are married for the first time in history. We have three-fourths of people who have been married who've been divorced at least once. We have mental illness running rampant. Kids are living busy, crazy lives, as are their parents. People are growing up with very serious baggage. Maybe men should have been the ones to slow down rather than women speeding up to compete with the men? Maybe. I don't know.

So, let's untangle this mess and think about an alternate reality. What if, now that men have learned to respect women as equals (well, most of us anyway), we reconsider the way we're doing things. What if we consider that kids need their parents spending time with them so that they grow up to be confident, well-rounded individuals more than they need money being put in a trust fund? What if we consider that competition is great, if the playing field is equal and everyone wants to compete and everyone is on the same page about what we're competing for (which is nowhere near the case), but isn't so great when it puts those who are capable way out of reach and the incapable fighting to get their needs met. What if men and women swallowed their pride and said, "You know what, this is just dumb! We should be spending our afternoons eating meals together and making love instead of calling each other to see who's going to bring home fast food for dinner. We should stop telling ourselves these sad sob stories about how poor we are and how much we deserve and start appreciating that even the poorest of us have more than the wealthiest of other countries could dream of. What if we started putting the focus on relationships and education? What if we were so relaxed that we drank for pleasure instead of compulsively over-drinking to relieve stress? Think of the endless reprecussions of a slower lifestyle for a minute. Could people stay in love longer if they weren't under as much stress? Could kids grow up to be interested in inspiring ideas, art, nature, traveling, music--the things that make life worth living instead of money and judgemental, rigid ideologies? Could we stop thinking of the less capable as lazy and start seeing each other as human beings?

Alright, back to reality. I realize that we can't just scrap the history of America and get everyone to simultaneously start living differently. Nor do I fool myself into thinking everyone wants this. Some of us are seriously addicted to our pain. We identify with it. It's easier than changing. However, I do believe we can subtly start making choices in our day to day lives that will encourage this direction for our children. I'd like to encourage everyone to start looking a little more deeply into their stress and attempt to discover the source. Stop pushing through it and look to remedy it instead. Do you need more sleep? Do you need to eat better? Do you need more excercise? Do you need a new job? Maybe a change in scenery? But Jeff what does this have to do with what you were just talking about? When we're stressed out of our heads all day we make poor choices. We buy compulsively, we become callous to the people in our lives, we eat unhealthily, and on a larger scale, we vote out of hatred for people unlike ourselves instead of out of hope for a better society. We give up, we shut down. So, take care of yourselves this week. Vote consciously tomorrow. Start looking for ways to remedy problems instead of pushing through them. Let's grow up America. Let's take care of our needs. Let's get past this rags to riches story we're telling ourselves (because let's be honest, our history is more like genocide, slavery, and greed) and start a story of getting everyone to a more fulfilling lifestyle. I bet we can't do it by working harder. I bet we do it by living more mindfully. What do you think?