My Ever-Changing Perspective

I wish I knew who said it, but I once heard that a thinking person's perspective is constantly evolving. If I can be so bold as to consider myself a thinking person (which is questionable), I have to agree.

I'm currently taking a class at University of Missouri in Modern Literature. As always I am humbled by my English professor and how much he has read and seen and understands about the world. In only two weeks he has managed to turn my worldview on its heels (again) and get me thinking about new sides of old arguments that I had never considered. My professor is probably in his seventies and he understands every allusion and reference to every other work of literature or era of history in such detail that I am constantly awed. He reflects my naive youthfulness and debunks my grasp on reality without breaking stride in his lectures. It's wonderfully liberating to again realize that I don't know shit about shit. I'm a baby--a prepubesant rube.

I haven't written much lately about what I'm up to or where I'm headed. I hit a bit of a plateau over the last few months and felt my wheels spinning over things that I ultimately have no control over. Sorry for expressing those frustrations here, but it does help me to hear what others are thinking about. Now I'm back in school. The plan--if all works out well--is to get my GPA up and apply to PhD programs for English Literature/ Creative Writing (yes, you can get a PhD in Creative Writing believe it or not). Allison is also applying to PhD programs for Counseling Psychology. Ideally we could both get into the same school, but realistically we may have to deal with that once we find out which one of us gets accepted where (if at all). The plan on my end is to continue writing and putting myself in the position to teach on a college level so as not to rely on my writing for sustenance. I've realized over the last year in dealing with my first round of rejections that the publishing world is as cut-throat as any other industry in America. While writing fiction sounds like a pretty idealistic way to spend one's time (and I personally think it is since I love it so much), all that comes with getting a work published seems, so far, like a bit of a racket. But, a racket I'm going to have to deal with. So, I'm going to a writer's conference in Seattle in a couple of weeks (which I'm really looking forward to), and I hope I can gain some perspective on what the less romantic side of writing is all about. I'll keep ya posted.

I see a light somewhere down this tunnel. Sorry for all the dismal posts lately. I was feeling a little lost and disgruntled. Things are looking up though and I feel like I have some new challenges to work towards. I hope everyone out there in cyber- land is doing well and I wish everyone the very best in all their endevours!
Much love,
Jefe'