I love this. It's from Jay Leno now. It was from Ben Stein last year. Either way, not exactly the scholars we should be taking political advice from in an election year.
Why is 67% of America unhappy with our direction?
A.. Is it that we have
electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a
week? --Very nice sentiment. In a world full of iPods, PCs, nuclear weapons and space shuttles , yes, I suppose we should still not forget our archaic utility systems. God bless.
B.. Is our unhappiness
the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the
winter? --Maybe that our current air conditioning systems are huge contributors to global warming, killing thousands of species of living organisms, melting glaciers, drowning polar bears, and potentially leading to our extinction; all so we don't have to feel discomfort for a few months? Seems rational.
C.. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? --I'll give him this one. This is nice. I think it will change very soon as companies have to lay off people to make up for the cost of fuel, but for the time, this is good.
D. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in
moments than Darfur has seen in the last year? --Unless you expend any level of thought considering where your food came from: i.e. what third-world country's community was ripped off and made to work for slave wages in the growing of your food, how much energy was wasted on shipping your food around the world (possibly several times) to be processed, packaged, and marketed, what is actually in your food such as pesticides, preservatives, hydrogenated oils, high fructose corn syrup (all of which are doing extreme harm to your body), how many animals were pumped full of hormones, crammed into tight spaces and made to live in their own defecation on a concrete slab for their entire life before being slaughtered and brought to a friendly neighborhood store near you.
E.. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic
Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move
through each state? --Again, nice sentiment I suppose. It's a big country. That's nice. Most citizens ARE able to cross their entire country without showing ID.
F.. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can
provide temporary shelter? --Again, these exist in pretty much all industrialized nations. How about the $15 a night hostels all over Europe. Perfectly safe and clean with breakfast included! Yea! Great places to meet people too.
G.. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world
is just not good enough either.--Again, exists everywhere. Side note though: we have mainly Americanized versions of ethnic cuisine because most Americans won't eat genuinely ethnic foods without being "grossed out." This is how grown up and sophisticated we are as the world's superpower.
H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.--Again, happens in all industrialized nations. In many of these nations they don't actually make you pay for this trip to the hospital for the rest of your life when you get out. In some, it's free because they believe in taking care of their entire citizenry, not just their rich.
I.. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. --Is this a good number? This means 195 million Americans don't own homes. Hmm?
J.. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained
firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames, thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.--Happens everywhere where people aren't living in thatch huts. Side note: These are the wonderful socialized systems that take care of our basic needs so that we can live a higher quality of life. Keep this in mind when Republicans start demonizing the socialization of medicine and higher education this year.
K.. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler
intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. --Or we could take care of the poor and struggling who feel the need to rob homes and develop gun laws that don't allow disgruntled citizens to carry guns so we can live in a nation like the UK where cops carry nightsticks (no guns) and have a significantly lower crime rate (ridiculously lower violent murder rate). We have the highest murder rates anywhere in the world because of our lack of gun control. Even higher than most of the Middle East.
L.. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging
the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.--This is happening in most neighborhoods in technologically advanced nations worldwide where there isn't a war going on...a war we started mind you.
M.. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the
envy of everyone in the world? --Unless you're a minority, gay, or believe something that strays very far from the American mainstream. You can have rights, just don't live anywhere close to us or participate in our communities. Right? We're no where close to the only free and democratic country in the world. If "Jay" ever left, he would know this.
Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy. That's why I'm unhappy. Is Jay in the 33% still thinking things are peachy?
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen (That's a fact huh? Bet that study has some interesting data behind it). No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens (Maybe because we bomb nations without logical grounds and take whatever we want economically from countries that can't stand up to us?) They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the
world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here. No, I'm pretty sure they hate us for constantly pushing our Christian BS on them while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge that we rose to power by hijacking a nation of indigenous people, committing genocide on the native men and women, kidnapping natives of Africa and making them work for free to utilize the untapped resources of what is now the United States, then set them free with no rights; raped, beat, and lynched them for almost another hundred years and still treat them like second-class citizens even though they pretty much built our economy for free and against their will. I think they also hate our values; i.e. that we are, again, the wealthiest nation in history and don't take care of our citizen's health needs, provide a pathetic amount of assistance to get our citizenry to a higher level of education, and accept much lower standards for living than most industrialized countries. Essentially they hate us because we could be living in the most idealistic country that has ever existed, comfortably peaceful and minding our own business and dolling out charity from our huge surplus of revenue and instead we have accepted a second-rate country where people send emails like this one comparing us to nations where people still hunt with bows and arrows.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out?
Yes Jay, what about that? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? or the 11% rating of the Democrat House of Representatives, Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11 (told us to keep shopping?)? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? (Recession is still kicking Jay) Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding (Hahahahahahahahaha! Succeeding. Hilarious) in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? (Correlation does not equal causality Jay. Lack of terrorist attacks doesn't mean he did anything to prevent them). The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Yes, yes, yes...he will likely be remembered as the worst president in U.S. history. Where are we going with this? We still have nice hotels, is that the point?
Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so
much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it......are you upset at the President YES! because he actually caused you personal pain No, just embarrassment, but just because I'm privileged doesn't mean I'm not feeling bad for the pain he caused everyone else worldwide OR is it because the 'Media' [Did their job and] told you he was failing to kiss your sorry
ungrateful behind every day (Wow, Jay's a little self-righteous, huh?). Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom . There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days
in the brig. --Would they joined in the first place if they had another way out of their small towns without joining the military? Isn't this more of an economic problem we need to solve inside our own borders? Maybe if we had mandatory service we would think twice before killing off our poor in wars for oil. Side note: we are experiencing the highest level of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome and military suicides in history. They may have volunteered but they don't want to be there.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent (It just went up 2% before he finished writing this. Yea for rational minds!) of Americans?
Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize
in bad news (Ignoring problems isn't solving problems, but I agree they could point out some positive from time to time). Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? (Awe, this is like a sappy John Couger Mellencamp song) The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations (Except NPR and Associated Press). They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like OJ. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his
wife, but if he did he would have done it this way (What the hell does this have to do with media? First, news media and publishing houses are two completely separate industries. Second, publishers can't "allow" or disallow people to write anything, we all enjoy first amendment privileges . And they didn't publish it anyway! Who is this guy?)......Insane!
Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times (Interesting that these are two of the better sources for news in the country, but I would still recommend NPR, and The Associated Press, which from the rest of this email I'm guessing Jay doesn't listen to or read) for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth (interesting that we think this about ourselves more than anyone else thinks this about us. Self-centered much?) and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornado's, fires out of
control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, 'Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?' --Probably a good time to take God out of everything if he's causing all this trouble. ;) Side note: we're actually living in the most peaceful period in human history. Also, countries that are predominantly secular (run their countries based on logical studies over religious superstition) have overall higher education rates, higher public health, lower unwanted pregnancies, stronger socialized systems, lower poverty rates, less crime and violence and stronger economies.
Sorry to rain on your parade Jay, but simple-minded conservatism just isn't cutting it anymore. It's not that we aren't grateful, it's that we can do better, and should. Also interesting that most of what is pointed out in this email relates to materialistic comfort and fear of very preventable natural and societal problems that many other nations have already solved. If everyone would stop praying to and thanking something that may or may not even exist and actually used their own intelligence and human talents to solve our nation's problems we might actually be able to sit back and appreciate how functional America is. Interesting also, that he points out in the end that he thinks things are so overwhelmingly bad that we should throw up our hands and pray versus organizing our communities, electing better leaders, and establishing better systems to avoid similar problems in the future. It is comforting that 67-69% of people disagree with this email.
How the other 31-33% keep passing it to my Inbox and crediting different celebrities as sources is beyond me.
Happy election year! Stay informed!
Jeff
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Competition Is Dumb
"Your idea of a conversation is the third degree, because I don't really know you and I don't really want to talk about me." --Ani DiFranco
Can I tell you how obnoxious it is to exist in an entire world of adults who are still content on competing with each other like a bunch of teenage boys playing street-ball? I don't mean competing for fun, as in, "Let's go play a game of chess or scrabble and try to one-up each other." This competition is fairly healthy; at the very least, fun. I mean shamelessly competing at life. Like walking, talking raw-nerve endings ready to rattle off five sources to back up every phrase that exits their mouth they anxiously dodge the 98% of human beings sharing the planet with them in hopes that they are not engaged in comfortable, polite conversation for more than thirty seconds. This is what it is like to be an outsider around a group of graduate students in America. It's sometimes laughable the lack of experience and worldly interaction some of these people have had--sometimes humbling. I have met two kinds of graduate student: the one who has walked into this academic world as his or her birthright, never having expected to end up anywhere else, and those that have fought and scrapped and saved and worked twenty hours a day since adolescence to get here. And in the end I still have to ask, "What's the prize?"
Some may answer, "One gets to be an interesting, intelligent person with plenty of cash and free time to continue growing and spreading one's influence to help those less-fortunate in the world." But these people would likely be lying. I think the majority, if they could untie their brains long enough to muster the English language and speak in coherent sentences would say something about the flat-screen television they can't wait to buy when they finally graduate, or (and I shit you not) the video game station they want to own to unwind with after work. And as I sit lazily by--yawning from the good night's rest I received, thinking of the hike I would like to go on this weekend, and waiting for a pause in the enthralling conversation about the, "hideous clothes that that bitch in my psych class was wearing" to talk about the enlightening novel I just finished--I have to wonder who's really getting ahead? Sure, they seem to have nice toys now, but it hasn't truly seemed to sink in yet that they are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and will likely only make the equivalent of a high school graduate in a clerical position when they do finally get into the work place. And lest you say I am essentially making a very wordy argument that measures up to, "Ah kids today!" I will elaborate.
There are people dying all over the world from the flu because they can't get the basic health care they need. There are multiple wars that America is fighting in several different countries based mostly on ignorant people electing ignorant leaders. We are in the middle of a historical election year in presidential politics and the largest shift in national values our generation is likely to see in our lifetime. We have access as United States citizens to travel anywhere in the world that we can afford without so much as a second bag check. There are warehouses full of books that people have spent years torturing themselves to write to better our minds and hearts. There are thousands of musical instruments one can learn how to play. There are millions of recipes that one can learn how to cook. If you are really going to sit there with your microwavable meal and your giant SUV in the driveway and talk to me about the last episode of, "Lost" as a graduate student--a future professional leader of our country--and expect that I'm not going to think less of you because of how hard you worked for all of this, we're probably not as good of friends as you think. Working hard blindly is for idiots chasing materialistic dreams. Working smart and learning lessons along the way takes some patience and brains. Achieving peace with yourself and the world you live in takes enlightenment and wisdom; foresight and deep breathing. Where are you on your path? Are you getting what you really want out of your time here? Are you leaving anything better for future generations? Or are you spreading the stress and anxiety and competitiveness that has us all wondering, "What's the point?"
If we're winning, who is losing? The poor, the disabled, the abused, the truly challenged that need our help? Is that really something to be so proud of yourself for? Think fast. It's later than you think.
Can I tell you how obnoxious it is to exist in an entire world of adults who are still content on competing with each other like a bunch of teenage boys playing street-ball? I don't mean competing for fun, as in, "Let's go play a game of chess or scrabble and try to one-up each other." This competition is fairly healthy; at the very least, fun. I mean shamelessly competing at life. Like walking, talking raw-nerve endings ready to rattle off five sources to back up every phrase that exits their mouth they anxiously dodge the 98% of human beings sharing the planet with them in hopes that they are not engaged in comfortable, polite conversation for more than thirty seconds. This is what it is like to be an outsider around a group of graduate students in America. It's sometimes laughable the lack of experience and worldly interaction some of these people have had--sometimes humbling. I have met two kinds of graduate student: the one who has walked into this academic world as his or her birthright, never having expected to end up anywhere else, and those that have fought and scrapped and saved and worked twenty hours a day since adolescence to get here. And in the end I still have to ask, "What's the prize?"
Some may answer, "One gets to be an interesting, intelligent person with plenty of cash and free time to continue growing and spreading one's influence to help those less-fortunate in the world." But these people would likely be lying. I think the majority, if they could untie their brains long enough to muster the English language and speak in coherent sentences would say something about the flat-screen television they can't wait to buy when they finally graduate, or (and I shit you not) the video game station they want to own to unwind with after work. And as I sit lazily by--yawning from the good night's rest I received, thinking of the hike I would like to go on this weekend, and waiting for a pause in the enthralling conversation about the, "hideous clothes that that bitch in my psych class was wearing" to talk about the enlightening novel I just finished--I have to wonder who's really getting ahead? Sure, they seem to have nice toys now, but it hasn't truly seemed to sink in yet that they are tens of thousands of dollars in debt and will likely only make the equivalent of a high school graduate in a clerical position when they do finally get into the work place. And lest you say I am essentially making a very wordy argument that measures up to, "Ah kids today!" I will elaborate.
There are people dying all over the world from the flu because they can't get the basic health care they need. There are multiple wars that America is fighting in several different countries based mostly on ignorant people electing ignorant leaders. We are in the middle of a historical election year in presidential politics and the largest shift in national values our generation is likely to see in our lifetime. We have access as United States citizens to travel anywhere in the world that we can afford without so much as a second bag check. There are warehouses full of books that people have spent years torturing themselves to write to better our minds and hearts. There are thousands of musical instruments one can learn how to play. There are millions of recipes that one can learn how to cook. If you are really going to sit there with your microwavable meal and your giant SUV in the driveway and talk to me about the last episode of, "Lost" as a graduate student--a future professional leader of our country--and expect that I'm not going to think less of you because of how hard you worked for all of this, we're probably not as good of friends as you think. Working hard blindly is for idiots chasing materialistic dreams. Working smart and learning lessons along the way takes some patience and brains. Achieving peace with yourself and the world you live in takes enlightenment and wisdom; foresight and deep breathing. Where are you on your path? Are you getting what you really want out of your time here? Are you leaving anything better for future generations? Or are you spreading the stress and anxiety and competitiveness that has us all wondering, "What's the point?"
If we're winning, who is losing? The poor, the disabled, the abused, the truly challenged that need our help? Is that really something to be so proud of yourself for? Think fast. It's later than you think.
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