Crossfire with Jon Stewart
Oh, I love Johnny.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Friday, November 03, 2006
New Documentaries
Hey all, I have two new documentaries I'm encouraging you all to see. One called,
"This Film is Not Yet Rated" and another called "Jesus Camp." Check out the trailers above.
The first one I just saw and it was pretty interesting. It's about the MPAA (the organization responsible for giving movies their ratings) and who this organization is made up of and how they control what we can and cannot see in movies. It also touches on a bigger issue of who controls media in this country and how powerful they are. My one complaint about this one is that for all the probing they go through to prove the point that this organization is facist and doesn't represent average American parent's best interests they don't interview anyone that represents average America. I guess they alliviate this need by saying that there is no such thing as an "average American parent" but all the people who say this are in the film industry and live in LA (which isn't exactly what most American's lives are like). That being said, it brings up a lot of good points about how childish adults can be about cusswords, sex, and nudity in movies when it's perfectly okay to show horrendous acts of violence and get lower ratings. The biggest issue with these ratings is what falls into NC-17. Basically an R rating and an NC-17 are both meant for adults, however if a movie gets the latter rating many studios won't release it, it can't get TV spots and most chain department stores won't carry it on DVD. So a lot of movies that take artistic risks in trying to do something different get marginalized and virtually unseen by American audiences based on the moral judgement of the MPAA. In my opinion this is just another element in why America is all but devoid of good art.
The second, I have not seen but sounds outrageous. I'm sure it will rile some emotions on either side. It's about fanatical Christian camps that are trying to rival religious fanatics in other parts of the world by teaching their kids to militantly follow Jesus. The trailer is disturbing enough. I'll give a full critique after I see it.
I don't know what kind of outlets you have for seeing these films. I'm guessing most cities have at least one theater that shows more obscure docs and films. Keep an eye out. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.
"This Film is Not Yet Rated" and another called "Jesus Camp." Check out the trailers above.
The first one I just saw and it was pretty interesting. It's about the MPAA (the organization responsible for giving movies their ratings) and who this organization is made up of and how they control what we can and cannot see in movies. It also touches on a bigger issue of who controls media in this country and how powerful they are. My one complaint about this one is that for all the probing they go through to prove the point that this organization is facist and doesn't represent average American parent's best interests they don't interview anyone that represents average America. I guess they alliviate this need by saying that there is no such thing as an "average American parent" but all the people who say this are in the film industry and live in LA (which isn't exactly what most American's lives are like). That being said, it brings up a lot of good points about how childish adults can be about cusswords, sex, and nudity in movies when it's perfectly okay to show horrendous acts of violence and get lower ratings. The biggest issue with these ratings is what falls into NC-17. Basically an R rating and an NC-17 are both meant for adults, however if a movie gets the latter rating many studios won't release it, it can't get TV spots and most chain department stores won't carry it on DVD. So a lot of movies that take artistic risks in trying to do something different get marginalized and virtually unseen by American audiences based on the moral judgement of the MPAA. In my opinion this is just another element in why America is all but devoid of good art.
The second, I have not seen but sounds outrageous. I'm sure it will rile some emotions on either side. It's about fanatical Christian camps that are trying to rival religious fanatics in other parts of the world by teaching their kids to militantly follow Jesus. The trailer is disturbing enough. I'll give a full critique after I see it.
I don't know what kind of outlets you have for seeing these films. I'm guessing most cities have at least one theater that shows more obscure docs and films. Keep an eye out. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Breathing, Yoga , Mindfulness
I have been attempting to get back to some old practices that I discovered in my latter years of school in an attempt to live a more mindful and enlightened life. I'm not sure how familiar anyone is with Mindfulness or how many of you have an interest in yoga or meditation, but I have found some peace in these practices over the years and would like to share them with you in hopes that maybe they will help you as well. Below are seven of the Mindfulness principles that deal with our attitudes towards thoughts and feelings. If anyone has an interest or if these ideas strike a chord with you and you'd like to know more about meditation, yoga, or Mindfulness I'd be happy to share some books, podcasts, and cds you could check out for guidance. Note: Mindfulness is not a religious practice, but rather a healthy way of life that promotes a positive mind and loving heart. It is conducive to all other philosophies based in love and wellness.
Nonjudging: To do this requires that you become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are normally caught up in and learn to step back from it.
Patience: Intentionally reminding ourselves that there is no need to be impatient with ourselves because we find the mind judging all of the time, or because we are tense or agitated or worried, or because we have been practicing mindfulness for some time and nothing positive seems to have happened.
A Beginner's Mind: To see the richness of the present moment (afterall, where else does life occur?), we need to cultivate what has been called "beginner's mind"--a mind that is willing to see everthing as if for the first time. No moment is the same as any other. Each is unique and contains unique possibilities. Beginner's Mind reminds us of this simple truth.
Trust: Developing a basic trust in yourself and your feelings is an integral part of meditation training. This will be particularly useful in the yoga practice. When practicing yoga, it is important to honor your feelings and listen to when your body tells you to stop or to back off in a particular stretch. If you don't listen, you might injure yourself.
Nonstriving: Almost everthing we do we do for a purpose, to get something or somewhere. But, in meditation, this attitude can be a real obstacle. Ultimately, meditating is non-doing. It has no goal other than for you to be yourself. In the meditative domain, the best way to achieve your goals is to back off from striving for results and, instead, to start focusing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are, moment to moment.
Acceptance: Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. If you have a headache, accept that you have a headache. If you are in pain, emotionally or physically, accept that you are in pain. Acceptance does not mean that you have to like everything or that you have to take a passive attitude. It does not mean that you are satisfied with things as they are. Acceptance, as we are speaking of it simply means that you have a willingness to see things as they are. In meditation practice, we cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience, but be receptive and open to whatever we are feeling, thinking, or seeing and to accept it because it is here right now.
Letting Go: In meditation practice we intentionally put aside the tendency to elevate some aspects of our experience and to reject others--prolonging pleasant thoughts or feelings and trying to get rid of the unpleasant. Instead, we just let our experience be what it is and practice observing it from moment to moment.
Nonjudging: To do this requires that you become aware of the constant stream of judging and reacting to inner and outer experiences that we are normally caught up in and learn to step back from it.
Patience: Intentionally reminding ourselves that there is no need to be impatient with ourselves because we find the mind judging all of the time, or because we are tense or agitated or worried, or because we have been practicing mindfulness for some time and nothing positive seems to have happened.
A Beginner's Mind: To see the richness of the present moment (afterall, where else does life occur?), we need to cultivate what has been called "beginner's mind"--a mind that is willing to see everthing as if for the first time. No moment is the same as any other. Each is unique and contains unique possibilities. Beginner's Mind reminds us of this simple truth.
Trust: Developing a basic trust in yourself and your feelings is an integral part of meditation training. This will be particularly useful in the yoga practice. When practicing yoga, it is important to honor your feelings and listen to when your body tells you to stop or to back off in a particular stretch. If you don't listen, you might injure yourself.
Nonstriving: Almost everthing we do we do for a purpose, to get something or somewhere. But, in meditation, this attitude can be a real obstacle. Ultimately, meditating is non-doing. It has no goal other than for you to be yourself. In the meditative domain, the best way to achieve your goals is to back off from striving for results and, instead, to start focusing carefully on seeing and accepting things as they are, moment to moment.
Acceptance: Acceptance means seeing things as they actually are in the present. If you have a headache, accept that you have a headache. If you are in pain, emotionally or physically, accept that you are in pain. Acceptance does not mean that you have to like everything or that you have to take a passive attitude. It does not mean that you are satisfied with things as they are. Acceptance, as we are speaking of it simply means that you have a willingness to see things as they are. In meditation practice, we cultivate acceptance by taking each moment as it comes and being with it fully, as it is. We try not to impose our ideas about what we should be feeling or thinking or seeing on our experience, but be receptive and open to whatever we are feeling, thinking, or seeing and to accept it because it is here right now.
Letting Go: In meditation practice we intentionally put aside the tendency to elevate some aspects of our experience and to reject others--prolonging pleasant thoughts or feelings and trying to get rid of the unpleasant. Instead, we just let our experience be what it is and practice observing it from moment to moment.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
What Do Today's Kids Need? Smarter Adults.
I've been hearing this sentiment a lot lately--being that my mother and mother-in-law are both teachers--that kids today are out of control. They're cussing at young ages and talking about sex and guns and shooting each other in school, etc. and it never used to be this way. Well, first off, yes, it did used to be this way, it just wasn't this way for suburbanite middle-class white kids. And now it is. Actually I can still remember cussing and talking about sex and violence at a pretty early age--never shot at anyone, but I probably wished I had the sack to a few times.
My mothers both share the opinion that because there is no longer prayer in schools, this is why kids are going crazy. I respectfully disagree (mostly because I went to Catholic school my whole life and never did or didn't do anything good or bad based on the fact that I was being forced to pray to a God I didn't understand or necessarily agree with). I believe the real problem is that kids today have access to information beyond our parent's wildest dreams and the adults aren't keeping up. If you are my age, 27, or there abouts, imagine going through college without the internet for research. WHAT? Actually having to go through microfilms and books to find little tidbits that we can now punch into a computer screen and in one second have everything ever written in the entire world. This is what today's kids get from day one. Not only this but they are smart enough to get into things that kids probably shouldn't see--such as sexual content, violent video clips, etc--but are. So what do we do about this? It makes sense to me to deal with it in a way that addresses the problem. We didn't ask for kids to be exposed to this stuff and we certainly can't stop it completely. If they want to see things they shouldn't see, they're going to find a computer somewhere where they can access these things. Can we talk to them? Is this that big of a deal? I don't have kids so I don't want to assert too much here, but I can't imagine myself not just sitting down with my child and explaining why these things can be harmful to their worldview. And if I can't explain it, maybe I should consider that I'm being close-minded and that this is just a change the world is going through--not the coming of days.
I don't know the answer, but I certainly remember what I thought as a teen. I wanted the WHY behind everything. If an adult couldn't give me the WHY I usually considered that adult pretty ignorant. I respected adults with answers, with information. Not just because they earned their place as the Alpha, but because they made me a smarter person and usually didn't ask me to do things based on their own laziness and apathy. So, I'm sorry my fellow adults, there is a traitor in your midst. I'm with the kids on this one. Give them information, talk to them like intelligent human beings, they'll respect you. Order them around like some kind of dictator who deserves respect simply for being alive longer, and I gurantee they're going to rebel.
My mothers both share the opinion that because there is no longer prayer in schools, this is why kids are going crazy. I respectfully disagree (mostly because I went to Catholic school my whole life and never did or didn't do anything good or bad based on the fact that I was being forced to pray to a God I didn't understand or necessarily agree with). I believe the real problem is that kids today have access to information beyond our parent's wildest dreams and the adults aren't keeping up. If you are my age, 27, or there abouts, imagine going through college without the internet for research. WHAT? Actually having to go through microfilms and books to find little tidbits that we can now punch into a computer screen and in one second have everything ever written in the entire world. This is what today's kids get from day one. Not only this but they are smart enough to get into things that kids probably shouldn't see--such as sexual content, violent video clips, etc--but are. So what do we do about this? It makes sense to me to deal with it in a way that addresses the problem. We didn't ask for kids to be exposed to this stuff and we certainly can't stop it completely. If they want to see things they shouldn't see, they're going to find a computer somewhere where they can access these things. Can we talk to them? Is this that big of a deal? I don't have kids so I don't want to assert too much here, but I can't imagine myself not just sitting down with my child and explaining why these things can be harmful to their worldview. And if I can't explain it, maybe I should consider that I'm being close-minded and that this is just a change the world is going through--not the coming of days.
I don't know the answer, but I certainly remember what I thought as a teen. I wanted the WHY behind everything. If an adult couldn't give me the WHY I usually considered that adult pretty ignorant. I respected adults with answers, with information. Not just because they earned their place as the Alpha, but because they made me a smarter person and usually didn't ask me to do things based on their own laziness and apathy. So, I'm sorry my fellow adults, there is a traitor in your midst. I'm with the kids on this one. Give them information, talk to them like intelligent human beings, they'll respect you. Order them around like some kind of dictator who deserves respect simply for being alive longer, and I gurantee they're going to rebel.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Too Good to Be True?
Ok, I'm taking a pubic opinion poll here. I emailed the strange man who approached me a month or so ago about a possible modeling gig and below is his response. I need you all to let me know if you think I'm being paranoid or naive or overly critical or what because I don't know what to think. Imagine you're me, working a shitty part- time job and writing short stories and this guy comes up out of the blue and offers this to you. I don't know why I can't believe it, but something about the whole thing just isn't fitting together for me. I'm waiting for the catch. Anyway, have a read, if you would, and tell me what you think. Sound fishy? Also, sound cheesy? Is this really something I want to do if it is for real? Would you do it? I'm so painfully midwestern...
Jeff, Outpost12studios in Lincoln, Nebraska will be producing the
vodeo
project in January. Am in New york doing fashion shows like told all of
you
I would be - then retreat to the midwest to be low key. Regarding your
appearance in the project, you have the rest of the year to mull it
over.
filming will take place in mid January. That means flying you here for
four
days for filming. Prior to that, I can return there at times to coach
you on
the choreography. You should have everything well rehearsed by that
time
since it is only a five minute video. The last time I saw you I came
across
the street and stopped you and told you that like a big brother figure,
I
was not, and will not steer you in any wrong direction. I do not know
what
lifestyle you have lived, but jet-setting is in the lifestyle of anyone
involved in this business. Use your brain man, there is tons of money
on
this planet, you have been blessed lookswise, do what I and countless
other
males have done USE YOUR LOOKS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE TO EXPEDITE BECOMING
FINANCIALLY SECURE!!! I'm not into menial work, did that, don't have
to, am
planning to retire when this bloody video is completed! It is my
brainchild,
has been in my blood to do it because I have the ability to do it, can
muster the 'star quality" essence to carry it, (you received a minute
sample
of my stage presence while I was there), and can get it properly
executed to
fashion designers, which is the whole purpose of it. It's only a
promotional
project remember, to inspire fashion designers to return to prior
well-dressed looks in their creations. My whole success in life has
been
attributed to my presentation. Even many years ago when I was homeless,
the
security personnel at the former Golden Nugget casino in Atlantic City,
NJ
voted me "best dressed bum". If that isn't an American story of some
sort,
what is? ALEXIS!!! P.S. If you can provide a contact number, and tell
me how
you are doing, and if you are still at the coffee shop. Also, you can
samle
the video via the internect by pulling up the Vogue video.
Jeff, Outpost12studios in Lincoln, Nebraska will be producing the
vodeo
project in January. Am in New york doing fashion shows like told all of
you
I would be - then retreat to the midwest to be low key. Regarding your
appearance in the project, you have the rest of the year to mull it
over.
filming will take place in mid January. That means flying you here for
four
days for filming. Prior to that, I can return there at times to coach
you on
the choreography. You should have everything well rehearsed by that
time
since it is only a five minute video. The last time I saw you I came
across
the street and stopped you and told you that like a big brother figure,
I
was not, and will not steer you in any wrong direction. I do not know
what
lifestyle you have lived, but jet-setting is in the lifestyle of anyone
involved in this business. Use your brain man, there is tons of money
on
this planet, you have been blessed lookswise, do what I and countless
other
males have done USE YOUR LOOKS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE TO EXPEDITE BECOMING
FINANCIALLY SECURE!!! I'm not into menial work, did that, don't have
to, am
planning to retire when this bloody video is completed! It is my
brainchild,
has been in my blood to do it because I have the ability to do it, can
muster the 'star quality" essence to carry it, (you received a minute
sample
of my stage presence while I was there), and can get it properly
executed to
fashion designers, which is the whole purpose of it. It's only a
promotional
project remember, to inspire fashion designers to return to prior
well-dressed looks in their creations. My whole success in life has
been
attributed to my presentation. Even many years ago when I was homeless,
the
security personnel at the former Golden Nugget casino in Atlantic City,
NJ
voted me "best dressed bum". If that isn't an American story of some
sort,
what is? ALEXIS!!! P.S. If you can provide a contact number, and tell
me how
you are doing, and if you are still at the coffee shop. Also, you can
samle
the video via the internect by pulling up the Vogue video.
In Case You Missed It...
If you haven't seen this clip of Clinton verbally abusing Jim Wallace on Fox News, check this out. In case you haven't caught on yet, Fox News has nothing to do with journalism or reporting facts or trying to get to the heart of situations and everything to do with conservative propaganda (rent "OutFoxed" sometime for a one-sided but informative look inside this news channel). Clinton is a beast in this. I was too caught up in growing up during the nineties to know what was going on, but he's quickly becoming my new political hero. Periodically try to imagine George W. maintaining a stream of thought for this long (let alone citing these kinds of facts off the top of his head), and watch how he thinks before he speaks. You have to take the good with the bad when you're talking about huge world figures like Bill Clinton, but I believe despite his faults with fidelity he is a serious thinker, intellectual, and leader as you can see here. It's in two parts, but worth the time to watch both. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnyrCVwGyK4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxWUA764H7E&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnyrCVwGyK4&mode=related&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxWUA764H7E&mode=related&search=
Monday, September 18, 2006
Oregonites
The plans are in motion. Allison and I will be moving to Bend, Oregon this December to work for my friend and former Philmont director, Kevin Stickleman at Mt. Bachelor ski resort. The stress and anticipation has gotten to be too much as we've been dealing with work, tests, graduate school searches, applications and letters of intent. UNCLE! We give. After turning in my final papers this semester and tearlessly waving goodbye to my life of mindlessly slinging java to misguided academic souls I will pack up the necessities of life in my little green Camery and scream in sweet release to the towering mountains of the Northwest. I have much to think about and Allison and I will both have our futures waiting in limbo in the months following December application deadlines. I can think of no better way to spend this time then getting back in touch with the nature boy who's been sitting cross-legged in a corner of my soul, punished by the calender and speed of stress that the city life is too happy to provide. I know many of you will never understand, but perhaps someday we'll hike together and you can share the quiet peace of a crisp clean walk in the vanilla stench of a Pondarosa forest; all your innocence returned, childhood revisited. As Alexander Pope said, "There is a certain majesty in simplicity."
I know working at a ski resort isn't exactly simplicity, but it'll pay the bills. Meanwhile, we can spend our free time hiking the mountains and learning the calls of the migrating birds. I'm in goose-flesh just thinking about it. I can't wait!
Anyone else in need of a break from the busy life this winter, you have a couch to sleep on in Bend.
Much love,
Jeff
I know working at a ski resort isn't exactly simplicity, but it'll pay the bills. Meanwhile, we can spend our free time hiking the mountains and learning the calls of the migrating birds. I'm in goose-flesh just thinking about it. I can't wait!
Anyone else in need of a break from the busy life this winter, you have a couch to sleep on in Bend.
Much love,
Jeff
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Who the #*%& is Carson Daily?
Ok, before I start, I do know who Carson Daily is, but what the hell is he good for? He's like the Paris Hilton of Late Night TV; good at absolutely nothing and somehow still famous enough that other celebrities will interact with him on the idiot box at one in the morning. Now I know what you're thinking. You want to say, "Jeff, why are you giving your energy to this? Why are you even awake and watching TV at one in the morning and why would you choose to watch this assclown in the first place?" To you I answer, "Insomnia, no cable, he's on after Conan, and I have no life." But honestly this isn't about me. This is about this man, this: I wish I was famous, "Hey ma I'm on TV," I don't sing, I don't act, I'm not smart, I'm not funny, and I make a living off of joking on people with more talent in their nose hair than I have in my whole body (jokes that I didn't even write myself, mind you). I mean seriously, I want to send this poor man a sweet motherly telegram every day; just some nurturing woman who will tell him he's cool and that he can stop trying so hard. It's bad. If you're ever up too late and don't feel like watching--you know--something good, check this guy out. If you can make it through the full half-hour without cringing, either he blew his paycheck on a funny writer for that night alone, or you should go ahead and drink that whole bottle of NyQuil before you fall asleep. The whole show goes something like this: "Hey guys, you know, I was hanging out with Who Really Gives A Shit this past weekend at a party and I was going to get a ride home with him, but he was too high on coke." (Canned laughter) "You know, cause Bobby Brown does cocaine..." (explaining the bad joke that no one laughed at as though the problem was we just didn't get it). I've been thinking about this (don't ask me why) and here's my analysis. Carson is like the really nice hot guy from your high school. He doesn't really have it in him to be mean-spirited (like your typical blue-collar comedian), and he wasn't ridiculed enough to have to become funny (like Conan), and he isn't smart enough to have a dry sense of humor (like Stewart or Colbert), so he's just in this sort of--I'm nice and good lookin' and very non-confrontational kind of--no-man's land of entertainment. He'd make a better shoe salesman. Anyway, I just had to get this out in the clear in case someone was reading my blog and thinking, I wonder what Jeff thinks about Carson Daily. So, there it is. Now you know. He's a douche bag.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Consideration
Hey all! This was sent on to me via email. I don't know about keeping it off the air, but if you happen to catch it maybe watch with this in mind. Midterm elections are only a couple of months away and there are all kinds of back-handed ways of influencing our political opinions. Be informed. Make wise choices. Much love.
The ABC television network, owned by the Walt Disney Company, is airing what it calls a "docudrama" entitled "The Path to 9/11." ABC has claimed the mini-series is based on the 9/11 Commission Report, but that is simply not true. "The Path to 9/11" is actually a bald-faced attempt to slander Democrats and revise history right before Americans vote in a major election.
Tell Walt Disney president Robert Iger to keep this propaganda off the air:
http://www.democrats.org/pathto911
Thanks!
The ABC television network, owned by the Walt Disney Company, is airing what it calls a "docudrama" entitled "The Path to 9/11." ABC has claimed the mini-series is based on the 9/11 Commission Report, but that is simply not true. "The Path to 9/11" is actually a bald-faced attempt to slander Democrats and revise history right before Americans vote in a major election.
Tell Walt Disney president Robert Iger to keep this propaganda off the air:
http://www.democrats.org/pathto911
Thanks!
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Who's Got Two Thumbs and Likes Easy Money--This Guy!
Late shift, Lakota Coffee Shop, downtown Columbia, Missouri. Students are winding down their summer classes, couples are sipping java and playing scrabble. In walks this super-humanly, New York runway, glamorous, fabulous gay man strutting his stuff on the catwalk--or rather Lakota Coffee's narrow walkway between tables. He orders his coffee and walks around the side of the counter as though looking at pastries. A few minutes pass and I look over absentmindly and he looks away startled. I go about my work behind the counter. A few minutes later I'm stretching and glancing around the shop and again I see him just staring at me.
"Can I get you something?" I asked, wondering if he needed my attention.
"I'm just watching the way you carry yourself," he said.
I cocked an eyebrow, somewhere between curious and disturbed.
"I'm in the fashion industry back east," he said, unabashedly pretentious, "I'm shooting a video in Columbia, and you have the look. That's a professional compliment, I'm not hitting on you."
"Well...thank you," I said, wanting to add an "I guess."
He darted off, never breaking his runway saunter, as though offended that I didn't take the compliment more seriously. My female co-worker and I had a laugh and I went back to serving up some joe. Thirty minutes later he comes to the counter again, this time with a portfolio of glamour shots.
"Here's my portfolio, I am a model in New York and I am doing a fashion video to Madonna's Vogue." He proceeded to tell me I had the look several more times (although I apparently needed to shave so I could look like "a million bucks") and repeated information about his video and what I would have to do.
Do? I thought. Am I doing something now?
This went on for my entire five hour shift, the customer flow waning and this guy telling me more about his project. Eventually he gave me a Madonna CD asking, "Do you have a CD player at home?" thinking, I suppose, that perhaps Missouri functioned on horse drawn carriages and Omish cheese. "There it is right there, number seven, Vogue. Go home and have a listen, or walk it through as we say."
Vogue? I wanted to say in my best hillbilly accent, what the hell is this Vogue you speak of. And Madonna, who's this? Is this some kind of religious video?
I bit my tongue.
By the end of my shift he was talking to me about contracts and I told him that was the only way I could consider doing anything. He assured me that he was legit, writing down his back-story on two pieces of loose-leaf paper and showing me a photocopy of his graduation certificate from modeling school. I suppose I seemed unimpressed because he continued telling me more and more information about himself and what he'd done, dying for me to throw my hands in the air yelling, "My God man! You are too fucking sexy for your shirt! Dance my friend! Dance on the catwalk!" I was sure that had I been so boisterous he'd have struck a pose right there on the coffee shop bar. But I wasn't, and so this game continued of convincing me I had "raw talent" and that I should dance and model in his video shoot for $100 bucks an hour. Eventually, I said sure. I said, "If you can show me a contract and I can verify it with a lawyer and the whole thing is completely legal and legit, I'll do it--oh yeah, and you can teach me how to dance."
He said it was no problem. He assured me his lawyer would personally present me with the contract and that a professional choreographer would work with me and four other brunette males, six feet tall (appartently the "look" I have--thanks mom!). So, we'll see what happens.
Life is so weird. I mean, honestly, what the hell? People do some strange stuff with their lives. I can't say I EVER in a my most drunken and delusional dreams saw this one coming, but you know what--I'll take what I can get. If this dude's for real and I can make a few thousand dollars in a week for posing in a 1940s suit and top hat, okay. It's no less degrading than cleaning a public restroom and taking out the trash at the end of the night. Me and the misses gotta eat. So, since I know you all follow the fashion industry like stock brokers, as do the rest of us here in the midwest, let me give you the inside scoop; top hats and 1940s suits. Go get yours today. Move over Dick Tracy, I'm movin' in on yo shizot.
"Can I get you something?" I asked, wondering if he needed my attention.
"I'm just watching the way you carry yourself," he said.
I cocked an eyebrow, somewhere between curious and disturbed.
"I'm in the fashion industry back east," he said, unabashedly pretentious, "I'm shooting a video in Columbia, and you have the look. That's a professional compliment, I'm not hitting on you."
"Well...thank you," I said, wanting to add an "I guess."
He darted off, never breaking his runway saunter, as though offended that I didn't take the compliment more seriously. My female co-worker and I had a laugh and I went back to serving up some joe. Thirty minutes later he comes to the counter again, this time with a portfolio of glamour shots.
"Here's my portfolio, I am a model in New York and I am doing a fashion video to Madonna's Vogue." He proceeded to tell me I had the look several more times (although I apparently needed to shave so I could look like "a million bucks") and repeated information about his video and what I would have to do.
Do? I thought. Am I doing something now?
This went on for my entire five hour shift, the customer flow waning and this guy telling me more about his project. Eventually he gave me a Madonna CD asking, "Do you have a CD player at home?" thinking, I suppose, that perhaps Missouri functioned on horse drawn carriages and Omish cheese. "There it is right there, number seven, Vogue. Go home and have a listen, or walk it through as we say."
Vogue? I wanted to say in my best hillbilly accent, what the hell is this Vogue you speak of. And Madonna, who's this? Is this some kind of religious video?
I bit my tongue.
By the end of my shift he was talking to me about contracts and I told him that was the only way I could consider doing anything. He assured me that he was legit, writing down his back-story on two pieces of loose-leaf paper and showing me a photocopy of his graduation certificate from modeling school. I suppose I seemed unimpressed because he continued telling me more and more information about himself and what he'd done, dying for me to throw my hands in the air yelling, "My God man! You are too fucking sexy for your shirt! Dance my friend! Dance on the catwalk!" I was sure that had I been so boisterous he'd have struck a pose right there on the coffee shop bar. But I wasn't, and so this game continued of convincing me I had "raw talent" and that I should dance and model in his video shoot for $100 bucks an hour. Eventually, I said sure. I said, "If you can show me a contract and I can verify it with a lawyer and the whole thing is completely legal and legit, I'll do it--oh yeah, and you can teach me how to dance."
He said it was no problem. He assured me his lawyer would personally present me with the contract and that a professional choreographer would work with me and four other brunette males, six feet tall (appartently the "look" I have--thanks mom!). So, we'll see what happens.
Life is so weird. I mean, honestly, what the hell? People do some strange stuff with their lives. I can't say I EVER in a my most drunken and delusional dreams saw this one coming, but you know what--I'll take what I can get. If this dude's for real and I can make a few thousand dollars in a week for posing in a 1940s suit and top hat, okay. It's no less degrading than cleaning a public restroom and taking out the trash at the end of the night. Me and the misses gotta eat. So, since I know you all follow the fashion industry like stock brokers, as do the rest of us here in the midwest, let me give you the inside scoop; top hats and 1940s suits. Go get yours today. Move over Dick Tracy, I'm movin' in on yo shizot.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Visiting Good Friends
Seattle was incredible. I'm in love. Lakes, mountains, the ocean--it has it all. Thanks to my good friend and spiritual guru Marcus Reynerson and the vibrant, artistic, and always nurturing Bryn Cowgill I feel rejuvenated and in love with life. Did I mention how cool Seattle is? Good. I just want to reiterate.
I was in Washington this week visiting friends and participating in a writer's conference. Both experiences were fantastic. The conference had a multitude of good speakers with useful information on the craft and the industry of writing fiction. I probably had more panic attacks than one person should have in a three day period--from feeling completely out of my element--but I learned a lot that will help me in writing my next story. Funniest story I heard: One literary agent said he took home submissions from authors and read the sample chapters to his seven year old daughter and when she said, "Boring" he threw it aside and moved on. Disheartening, but friggin' hilarious! What else can you do when you recieve 1400 submissions a week?
The flight home was an interesting experience too. Two tornados apparently hit St. Louis just prior to my landing. We landed in a lightning storm and the runway had only emergency lights on because of a power outage. When we touched down the flight attendant came on and said, "You should all congratulate your pilot on the way out, that was a pretty sweet landing." More like punch our pilot in the neck for trying to land in that mess, but hey--we were still alive. In the airport all the electricity and air was off. Thousands of people were running around in the dark in hundred degree heat. Madness. I went to the restroom using my cell phone as a flashlight. I would have been pretty upset except I got a free week's worth of parking out of it because they couldn't charge anyone with the computers down. We're so dependent. It's scary.
Hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed the trip! My very best wishes to all.
I was in Washington this week visiting friends and participating in a writer's conference. Both experiences were fantastic. The conference had a multitude of good speakers with useful information on the craft and the industry of writing fiction. I probably had more panic attacks than one person should have in a three day period--from feeling completely out of my element--but I learned a lot that will help me in writing my next story. Funniest story I heard: One literary agent said he took home submissions from authors and read the sample chapters to his seven year old daughter and when she said, "Boring" he threw it aside and moved on. Disheartening, but friggin' hilarious! What else can you do when you recieve 1400 submissions a week?
The flight home was an interesting experience too. Two tornados apparently hit St. Louis just prior to my landing. We landed in a lightning storm and the runway had only emergency lights on because of a power outage. When we touched down the flight attendant came on and said, "You should all congratulate your pilot on the way out, that was a pretty sweet landing." More like punch our pilot in the neck for trying to land in that mess, but hey--we were still alive. In the airport all the electricity and air was off. Thousands of people were running around in the dark in hundred degree heat. Madness. I went to the restroom using my cell phone as a flashlight. I would have been pretty upset except I got a free week's worth of parking out of it because they couldn't charge anyone with the computers down. We're so dependent. It's scary.
Hope you enjoy the pictures as much as I enjoyed the trip! My very best wishes to all.
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